The Cleaving

Bob Pacey · Post by **Bob Pacey** » Sun Dec 14, 2014 5:22 am

As per my advice to David " Stick it in the Copper Crocs "

Bob

David Campbell · Post by **David Campbell** » Sun Dec 14, 2014 8:21 am

Hard to believe, Glenny, that such a beautifully written poem hasn't gained some sort of award. But subtlety doesn't seem to be very common in bush poetry, which is a pity. Recognition shouldn't depend on bashing the reader over the head with Australiana.

Cheers (and here's hoping your computer behaves itself!)
David

Catherine Lee · Post by **Catherine Lee** » Sun Dec 14, 2014 8:16 pm

What a beautiful poem Glenny - I love the language in this, the way you've painted the picture and created such feeling. Love it!

Glenny Palmer · Post by **Glenny Palmer** » Mon Dec 15, 2014 8:20 am

Many thanks Catherine. Happy Christmas to you.

Maureen K Clifford · Post by **Maureen K Clifford** » Mon Dec 15, 2014 12:27 pm

Hiya Glenny - I think it is beautiful - really beautiful - can I pinch it for you know what or have you rethought it and intend keeping it under wraps for future comps???

How about if I run it on our FB page??

Post by **Shelley Hansen** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:38 pm

Hi Glenny

Firstly, I love the title. The word "cleaving" has so many connotations and I "got it" immediately I started to read the poem. I love your word imagery, contrasting the northern and southern landscapes with moods of the heart.

It actually reminds me a bit of Henry Lawson's "The Bush Girl" (slightly different circumstances but same idea of boy who goes to England leaving girl behind):
"Grey eyes that grow sadder than sunset or rain
Fond heart that is ever more true
Firm faith that grows firmer for watching in vain
She'll wait by the sliprails for you."

The whole poem is in that vein, and no one would disagree that it is a fine example of bush poetry!

My poem "A Lesson in Life" which just took out the Babies of Walloon Ipswich trophy received quite negative feedback when I entered it in a prior competition. Different judge - different opinion. Just shows you.

My advice is - keep trying! And now for a really radical suggestion ... you could always take out the rhyme and enter it into an open competition as free verse

Onward and Upward!
Shelley

Glenny Palmer · Post by **Glenny Palmer** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 8:09 pm

Thank you for your lovely comments Shelley. I don't know if I'd survive the day without rhyme though love.

Post by **Shelley Hansen** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:28 pm

Yes, I thought that comment might get a reaction from you

Since posting my earlier comment I've read your poem again, and for the life of me I can't see why it wouldn't fit the criteria of bush poetry, namely "a poem with good rhyme and rhythm about Australia, Australians or the Australian way of life". It has all those things.
One wonders ...
Shelley

Glenny Palmer · Post by **Glenny Palmer** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 8:08 am

G'day again Shelley,
It well may not be a question of whether it fits our criteria, as judging a poem is a very subjective thing. Judges are individuals, and have individual preferences, as we all do. I've submitted it about 4 times over a period of a few years, so it hasn't really saturated 'the market.' If the conditions allow I may give it another try, but I'm just tossing up whether or not that is the appropriate thing to do given its 'publication' on our site. We'll see. Thanks again Shelley... and a very Happy Christmas to you and yours.
Cheeers
Glenny

Catherine Lee · Post by **Catherine Lee** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 9:12 pm

Thanks Glenny, and you have a wonderful Christmas too xx

ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

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