4 X 4 X 4

[keats]

He said it don't rhyme, by the way it reads, Nev.

[warooa]

I'm with you Nev . . . just reading last weekends Review pages about a book of poems by Stephen Edgar where he is lauded for rhyming "phantoms" with "tantrums".

It's good to look past the rule book and outside the prism of what's deemed "acceptable" sometimes.

Cheers, Marty

ps. enjoyed your 4by

[Neville Briggs]

Thanks Marty. I think some people might be worried that this opens the door to weird modernistic stuff, it doesn't, this sort of variation has been a part of traditional verse all the way from Chaucer to Shakespeare, Wordsworth, Robert Frost, Dorothea KcKellar and Jim Haynes. It isn't actually outside the rule book.

And mind you, I've never suggested that this should be our preferred or usual way of
writing, just as you say, "sometimes'.

You've made a very good point. In our post-modern world, we seem to be getting confused between what is acceptable or preferred with what is right or correct. They are not necessarily the same thing.

[r.magnay]

Yes Neville, I agree that sometimes the 'rules' seem to be a modern interpretation of how the piece should be constructed, when even the models or masters of what we refer to as bush poetry, often wrote using things that modern judges mark down in competitions,...inversions is one that I often relate to, but I am sure if you look hard enough in Paterson or Lawson's work you will find rhymes that are not perfect too, mind you, I personally agree with Bob, as a matter of preference in my opinion a rhyme should be a perfect rhyme.

[Maureen K Clifford]

I like phantoms and tantrums

[Neville Briggs]

You can prefer whatever you like Ross, goodonya. As far as rhymes go, I don't like sight rhymes, very off-putting to me.

Hopefully Marty this isn't a storm, but I agree it's really a minor isue.

As I was thinking about the use of partial rhymes or similar things used in bush poetry I remembered one very striking modern example done by Jim Haynes.
Jim Haynes recites a poem about the girl from the fish shop , with these lines;

I Lobster and I never Flounder......I octopus his face in, eel only break her heart.
......I'm so fin, it's a mackerel I'm not dead.
the whole thing is a mixture of homonyms, partial rhymes and sight rhymes. All done for comic effect.

There should be a few around who know it.

[keats]

Jim wrote it as a song, Nev. Good comedy piece, but then we found out it had already been 'written' many years before also as a comedy song by an English comedian. Funny song. May have been a coincidence, putting all those fishy terms into other meanings. Sometimes that happens. Limited within the subject matter. Cod almighty. Snapper up and Muri her, and don't Sinbad. Have to leave. Poor Herring.

But with the rhymes, I see what you were trying to do now, and that's fair enough. Each to their own mate.

Cheers

Neil

[Vic Jefferies]

In my opinion the champion slant rhymer is Blue The Shearer who has made an art form of the practice.
I have been trying for years to convince him that he should publish a Blue The Shearer's rhyming dictionary.

[manfredvijars]

... can't help but wonder if we're developing a literary 'cultural cringe' ...
I'm seeing examples of overseas poets lauded for their poetic prowess, but see nothing of our own lot.

If you want to see examples of 'sight-rhyme' and 'para-rhyme' - even great examples of slant rhyme, take a read of Gordon. (AND Bluey)

The master of the seven-foot iambic would surely be Paterson.

Lawson's female Australian equal would have to be Marie Pitt - in fact I'll see your Dickinson and raise you a Pitt!!!

But take a read of Lawson, see how effectively he uses feminine end rhymes, and learn from his mastery of stanza construction - not your ordinary boring four and six verse stanza constructs but take a look at his five and seven verse stanzas ... see also how effectively he uses both absolute AND feminine end-rhymes together ....

... but read Lawson, I mean REALLY read Lawson ...

[Neville Briggs]

... can't help but wonder if we're developing a literary 'cultural cringe' ...

Perhaps not Manfred all the poets cited here are poets of the English Language, wherever their location might be. English language is the cultural connection.

Although you might have an ally in the Australian poet, Mark O'Connor who sees the situation slightly differently.

In his anthology Two Centuries of Australian Poetry, Mark O'Connor says :
" Performance poetry is one of the most successful branches of Australian poetry. Audiences who might not read poetry at home seem to relish live performances.....a certain cultural cringe in Australia often led to imported fashions being taken to extreme; and the fashion for obscurity fatally reduced the audience for poetry in an age of television. Many performance poets are proud of finding a way around these problems. "