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Three Little Words

Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 11:17 am
by mummsie
Are there rules for adding words that add meaning to the poem, but are not in rhythm.

Three Little Words

Stars shine bright, the moon is grand,
two lovers stroll along the sand,
he turns to her, and takes her hand,
and places there a small gold band.

'' I love you''

The day arrives,she walks the aisle,
so beautiful, such grace and style,
her heart it sings, she can't help smile,
her feelings are an open file.

"I love you'

Your newborns here, so warm and snug,
You wrap him in a bunny rug,
soft words you whisper, as you hug,
you hold him close, you heart strings tug.

"I love you"

It's early morn, a new day greets,
a small child standing at your feet,
whispers words, his voice so sweet,
looks up at you, your life's complete.

"I love you"

His grown up now, the world is his,
you've nurtured him, erased his fears,
you bid farewell, through blurring tears,
these words will echo through the years.

"I love you"

Sue Pearce©

Re: Three Little Words

Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 12:40 pm
by Bob Pacey
Works ok for me Sue But I didn't know you cared. :lol: :lol: :lol:


Bob

Re: Three Little Words

Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 12:42 pm
by Maureen K Clifford
Not sure what you mean there Sue but if you are referring to the refrain repeated throughout - that is fine. You have maintained the format throughout the poem and the last line is the punch.

Really like this Sue it is beautiful. Thank you for sharing with us

You might perhaps want to consider your lay out on the site..extra line breaks etc to separate your stanzas so they don't all run into one another - makes reading it a bit easier too. No big problem - just a point.

Enjoy reading your work Mate - keep it coming ;)

And where pray tell Bob, did your name appear in Sues poem?????? Oh he is such a stirrer Sue..he thinks because Heather isn't talking he can get away with it.....Bob - go to your basket NOW.

Cheers

Maureen

Re: Three Little Words

Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 1:03 pm
by mummsie
Yes Bob, and don't take the Rum with you!!!!!!Thanks Maureen, you have been helpful once again, changed the layout, looks better.
Cheers Guys
Sue

Re: Three Little Words

Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 2:11 pm
by Zondrae
G'day Sue,

As Maureen said, if you refer to THE three little words, as a refrain, this works very well.
There are so many different ways we can make a poem consistent througout. You may need, at some time, to write a five line stanza poem, where the last line of each two consecutive stanzas rhyme. Or where all the last lines of all stanzas rhyme with each other and nothing else.
And you may not know this but not all rhyming has to be at the end of the line.

Again I say, you are the writer, you decide. You can do as you please and only have to follow the rules of competition if you are entering a competition..

Re: Three Little Words

Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 3:07 pm
by mummsie
Thanks Marty and Zondrae, I think your right,right now it seems like there's not enough hours in a day, there is so much to write about, and so much to learn.
Cheers
Sue

Re: Three Little Words

Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 5:56 pm
by Bob Pacey
I dipped my toes my arms and my elbows in it today Marty.

Bit of a bummer when the sewerage worm backs up and tries to take you in with it.

Sue i saw it first so I claims it Maureen. !!!!!


Gad Heathers back !! Yeah I'm already on my way. You got the cards Neville.



Bob

Re: Three Little Words

Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 9:34 pm
by thestoryteller
It's an interesting journey.

Great grandparents now.

Enjoyed the read.



Merv.