ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

I was recently talking to a couple of women who had joined the ranks of the unattached, and they related some of their observations about the singles bars and dance spot scenes where the lonely hearts meet in hope of finding Mr. or Mrs. Right.
I had already heard a fair bit about it from blokes out bush who were part of that scene, in some cases had been for years. – Although this is from a woman’s perspective it’s probably a two way scene.

I Think I posted this on the old forum but thought it might be worth another posting - Terry



SHADOWS IN THE NIGHT

In these lights so harsh and blinding there seemed little hope of finding,
the elusive caring partner she has yearned for all these years.
Then with loneliness deciding it was time to now stop hiding,
she had cast aside anxiety, despite her timid fears.

She now ventured somewhat nervous to the fleshpots and flash service,
then to bar rooms and the dancehalls where the lonely seemed to meet.
She soon saw that sharks were waiting; played a game that’s now called dating,
most were losers or were drunkards with their lewdness and deceit.

There were dapper ones more deadly as they danced on through the medley,
eying off the female talent for their conquest for that night.
Devious and oh so cunning as they set some pulses running,
though if women had an inkling they’d be rushing off in fright.

But this girl was blessed with sense, and quickly saw through their pretense
some might find this life exciting, but for her it wasn’t right.
It’s far better to be cautious than end up with someone nauseous,
phony love could be as fleeting as the shadows in the night,

*****

© T.E. Piggott 22/9/2010

G'day Terry,

I can imagine how hard it must be to 'find' another companion in later (or even middle) years. A younger man I know, only in his mid thirties was even finding it hard. He resorted to an on-line dating service and found a lovely girl just five years his junior with no children. They are happy and have been together almost two years. This seems to be the done thing these days. I also know a widower in his early 50s who has found his second wife on-line. They most suited and seem happy too.

You have a very thought provoking piece here Terry. Thanks for posting it.

High Terry so true so true mate just where do you go when you are mid 40s to hell with the pubs and clubs two many problems there. Your to old for discos and they're to darn noisy have been to PWP ( won't say what that means) but they're to man hungry for me but there are a few that are not and I was lucky found a goodn. Dating services could be the way to go but a warning to all M or Fm.

Bill the old Battler

PWP is Parents without Partners Bill and it is a first class organization with good strong family values and great aims and objects in its preamble. It is a family orientated group for single parent families and age is no barrier Generally speaking the folks who are members are very genuine people who are doing the best they can to put their family life back on track and meet new people and make new friends in a group with similar problems to what they themselves are facing.

Common sense tells you that there are going to be the man eaters, and those who prey on others who are fragile as a result of circumstances. Unfortunately as with our group here you have to take all at face value but in a strong PWP group the more stable members will protect the weak if they feel it is required. It is a terrific way to find your feet again and participate in group activities without feeling the odd one out. Bugger the bars and the singles clubs they are too hard to handle.

I was very proud to be the President of PWP Pine Rivers for 5 years and State Treasurer of the organization as well for many years as well as being their State Newsletter Editor.. Some of my closest friends today are ex PWP members who stood by me and gave me every assistance they could when I needed help so badly. Two beautiful relationships were forged through the group. OK they are not in place now sadly for me but one lasted 10 years and the other 20. Hardly anything to be ashamed off. And I never am anything but thankful that I was taken in by the fine people in PWP who all showed remarkable, courage, compassion and empathy under extremely difficult circumstances.

Terrys poem enhances the difficulties that single women especially face - as I tell my mates now who are always trying to match me with someone - I don't want to buy the cow just because I need a litre of milk, and my days of dancing round the dairy have disappeared I think anyway.

Read this one when you posted it last time Terry. Not a scene I would relish.

Well said Maureen.

Heather

Maureen don't get me wrong there are good members there but try being in Canberra and you may find it different it is the big hungry city and not a country town which by the way I would have preferred the women that I met were deffinitly out for a quid no such thing as going Dutch as the saying goes Just where are we going on saturday night and youre shouting the drinks ( top shelf I mite add) and all expences but the woman I met she was different and she became my wife.

bill the old battler

Hi All,
Yes it seems it can be a minefield alright, I know blokes who have been part of the scene for years and seem to be ever doing the rounds and swapping partners with various ladies they meet. I asked didn't they get well known after awhile, the reply was there were always new comers, a sort of endless supply of talent so to speak. I wouldn't like that life myself.

Zondrae,
I don't go to church myself but if I did and was genuinely interested in finding a permanent partner I'd start looking there or at the various appreciating groups (music etc) that I was interested in, and keep well away from boozy scene. I'm thinking more of women here as some of these places are little more than pick up joints. Although saying that there must be the odd genuine person anywhere you look.

Bill,
As I said, although this was written from a woman's perspective, I have no doubt it can be a two-way street.

Maureen,
Being a in a long term marriage I have no first hand experience, but suspect that among the predators etc. there must be lots of genuine lonely people desperate to find someone.
Another thing to remember is that many of those at loose ends have been through a very nasty break ups, I have listened first hand to some who still very bitter years after, whether justified or not.

Hi Heather,
I only posted this again because it seems to be an ongoing thing, and shows no sign of slowing down anytime soon.

Terry

Tell me about it guys thats why i'm sitting at home on the computor.

Just too much of an effort. Been there done that. You put it right Maureen but a litre of milk is better then no milk at all.


Jackie ( terrier ) Jinny ( Kelpie ) And Jazz ( labrador ) love me I think.

Bob

Dancing around the dairy could be a messy business I reckon Maureen.

Wow caught up with her. Maureen you keep telling your friends to butt out. I went to a few parties ( Went to sleep at one )

and they all spent all night trying to pair me off with shielas with whom I had nothing in common.


Bob