ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

This is an old homework poem, from a few years ago. The topic was 'Wizard'. I thought I would post it to keep Maureen company. Move over girl we might have to share that saucer of milk.
It's definitely water under the bridge now and was water under the bridge even at the time of writing, but I can remember.

HELL HATH NO FURY ..
Leonie Parker - ©

How I wish that I was a wizard
with powers to cast spells and such;
I’d turn my ex into a lizard.
I’d really enjoy that so much.

The life of a lizard should suit him,
low as a snakes belly is he.
His paramour acting so proper and prim,
I think I’d turn into a flea.

Would a lizard have fleas now I wonder?
If so it would be rather fun,
and if I’ve got it right, not a blunder,
you can bet that he’d have more than one.

That would make all this kind of ironic;
if more fleas he began to accrue,
and he’d swear it was bloody platonic,
like he did when I bade him adieu.

There’s nothing at all going on dear;
she’s someone I work with that’s all.
No matter how sus it all seems to appear
it’s an innocent telephone call.

Yeah right! My initial reaction
disbelief, and he wasn’t contrite,
just kept on denying attraction,
even though it was clear I was right.

So I wish that I was a wizard.
With my wand I would whisk them away
to a place that’s as cold as a blizzard;
put a hex on and there they would stay.

Just remember girls it is not always the fella who plays around.


Is there a Hell hath no fury like a fella scorned as well

Bob

Leonie, I learned from Kevin Hart ( Australian contemporary poet ) that this sort of verse is called " harangue "

Yeah good one Nev

Bob

Yeah Bob we know that all women aren't angels. I'm sure husbands feel scorned too. They even write poems about it occasionally.

Yep, that's it Neville. 'harangue'.

Harangue, Meringue really just depends on how much you sugar coat it Neville .

To be fair my ex is really just the nicest bloke and I still care for him a lot and had hoped that we would be friends as we once were but it seems that is not going to happen....suspected for some time that the new soon to be Mrs erases emails I send to him. He taught me so much about the bush and just general living on the land skills and without a doubt that was the best period of my life and something I am so grateful I got to do...never thought I would love it as much as I did or miss it as much as I do...but we don't always know ourselves as well as we think we do.

It's been nearly six years and I really am over it - most of the time

Love it Leonie - Lizard and Wizard as opposed to a Goanna and spanner - somewhere cold.....not Ipswich surely???

Great poem Leonie. Got a good giggle from it.

Heather