ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

a piece I wrote for a project on mid life divorce and how it affects ones outlook and feelings....I am not falling in a screaming heap - trust me, but the memories remain.


CRYING FOR MY HEART



There are tears flowing deep inside..Where you can't see me weeping.
You see the smile, don't see the frown, and still my heart is beating.
Have no idea why my life's turned upside down...so self defeating
But there's tears inside me, crying for my heart.

You see the woman that this woman thinks you want to see.
The Daughter, Sister, Mother, Workmate - all of them I be.
But I doubt there's any who have ever seen the real me
Maybe that's why tears are crying in my heart.

It hurts too much to open up and then be cast aside.
Far easier to smile and laugh, though hurt can’t be denied,
for if one's always a bridesmaid and never yet a bride
then no doubt that's why the tears are in my heart.

My two girls know the real me as did their sisters before.
Un -judgemental loving animals...who also knew the score
but with mutual affection and love for evermore
they never once have caused a sad tear in my heart.

So my youth has gone, my chances passed, opportunities now few
I've retreated to another place with no wish to renew
the search for love undying for I've tried and lived to rue
every one. They all caused tears within in my heart.

Maureen Clifford © 05/10

I'm sure anyone who has ever been through this can relate, no matter how long ago it was, or how well we might have healed in the meantime, because like you say the memories remain. And yep .. those dogs of ours definitely see the real person - or do they? What's that line that pops up regularly in all those motivational emails? Something like .. my goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am.