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Re: Save a spot for me
Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 1:13 pm
by Bob Pacey
Beautiful and simple Marty. I was the same with my Dad. hard to see such a tough man wasteing away.
Thanks mate brought back some great memories for me.
Bob
Re: Save a spot for me
Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 1:31 pm
by Heather
Very touching Marty. I'm sure he would understand that you want to remember him the way you do and what's more important, that's exactly how he would want you to remember him. Great poem Martyboy.
Heather

Re: Save a spot for me
Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 1:53 pm
by Maureen K Clifford
Reckon your Dad would be mighty chuffed with this...can see him sitting by the campfire with all the other blokes who are commenting on what a great bit of poetry that was that young Marty wrote - and your Dad saying nothing, bit of a grin on his face thinking to himself 'That's my boy.'
Terrific write and great read.
Cheers
Maureen
Re: Save a spot for me
Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 7:38 pm
by Neville Briggs
I thought that was well done Marty.
I think your ability to work the rhythm of the metre is improving greatly ( hope that doesn't sound supercilious, it's meant be encouragement )
And the way you have used the enjambment (or wrap around, the sense of the lines running into the next line ) is excellent. That makes good variety in the rhythm and pace of the verse.
The theme is an all too often story. One of the most tragic ends to a life that I can think of.
Re: Save a spot for me
Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2011 10:46 am
by Terry
G/day Marty,
I often stop to think of my dad, I was fortunate that although he lived a long life he never suffered dementia.
A touching poem Marty
Terry
Re: Save a spot for me
Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2011 10:52 am
by Zondrae
G'day Marty,
I didn't see my Dad for 14 years before he died. I have read the firstline of your poem. I can't get past that yet. My eyes keep melting or something. I'll get back to you later.
Re: Save a spot for me
Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 5:28 pm
by mummsie
Beautiful Marty, brought a tear to my eye and the memories of losing my Dad came flooding back. I dont think we ever truly appreciate the impact a parent has on our lives until we lose them.Your loss is felt in these beautifully written words.
Cheers
Sue
Re: Save a spot for me
Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 9:10 pm
by r.magnay
G'day Marty,
A great poem, it would be nice to think we will be reunited with our loved ones one day, I sorta hope it is right but I am not too sure how I will go on judgement day. We are presently mourning the loss of my younger brother, MS finally won the battle he has been fighting for over 30 years, he was buried last week.....I wasn't present, it was a very hard day for me not being there, I was working away....it was a long day. I did manage to get down south and catch up with him a few days before he left us which was good...or as good as it can be....I am still struggling a bit, I would love to believe we will meet again one day. Your poem is great in that it suggests that they are not gone, just waiting, I hope you are right mate.
Re: Save a spot for me
Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 9:13 pm
by Heather
Life's a bugger Ross. Very sorry for your loss. Hope he went easy in the end.
Heather