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OLD LOVE

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 11:55 pm
by Terry
I wrote this about two years ago and thought at the time I might do something with it later, but never did.
I thought about it again the other day after the recent the talk about dementia.



OLD LOVE

I’d watched him when he first arrived about six months ago,
and noted then his gentle speech when he had said hello.
He’d come to see his darling wife he told me that first time -
I guessed he must be eighty and was now well past his prime.

He’d sit there by her bedside quietly whispering to her,
although I doubt she heard a word, for nothing seemed to stir.
Sometimes he thought she may have smiled – that really made his day,
he’d sit back then contented as the hours would slip away.

I’d hear him croon sweet love songs in a voice now worn by age,
and though she seemed to show no sign - response is hard to gauge.
He’d smile at her then whisper private secrets of their own,
and tell me as he took his leave, how quick the time had flown.

He’d kiss her when the bell had rung, then say his last goodbyes,
and try to hide the tears from me that now shone in his eyes.
He’d shuffle painfully away along the corridor,
but he’d be here again next day, to see his love once more.


******
©T.E. Piggott Dec. 2009

Re: OLD LOVE

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 6:19 am
by Bob Pacey
Gees Terry you are on a roll mate.

Just keep getting better.

The favourite song of my Father In Law in his last years was A Daisy A Day and this follows the same theme. I work every day with couples in their eighties in the retirement part of the park and to see how their love has endures is wonderful. Kinda jealous really.

Thanks mate good one.


Bob

Re: OLD LOVE

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 10:24 am
by Neville Briggs
Good on ya Terry. I like how you have kept it short, I think that goes with the theme, dragging it out would not have done the job I think.

Re: OLD LOVE

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 11:51 am
by Terry
G/day Bob,
Thanks mate, I often see old couples, sometimes frail and shaky, but they seem to have a certain dignity about them and seem so gentle and protective towards each other. Perhaps if we live long enough we too will evolve along similar lines.

Cheers Terry

Re: OLD LOVE

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 12:03 pm
by Terry
Thanks Neville
From memory this poem came about as a result of a homework topic either here or on Bush Verse, I can't remember the exact topic. Anyway I never got around to posting it, probably thought it may have been a bit to mushy.

I agree with you about keeping this type of poem short, you can say all that needs to be said with surprisingly few words.
I sometimes think that one small downside to poetry competitions is the tendency to feel you need to write longer poems, and you then risk the possibility of boring the reader. There are of course many wonderful longish poems that keep you entertained until the end, but they need to have a good story and be well written.

Cheers Terry

Re: OLD LOVE

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 2:18 pm
by Heather
True love Terry, true love. Beautiful and sad at the same time. I think there is great talent in telling a story in a short poem and you do it so well.

Heather :)

Re: OLD LOVE

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 3:04 pm
by Terry
Thanks Heather,
I did think of giving it a bit of a polish but in the end was too lazy and left it as it is.
I think some poems like this, as Nevil has already stated, are best kept as short as possible.

Cheers terry

Re: OLD LOVE

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 4:20 pm
by Zondrae
Thank you Terry,

For writing and posting and sharing this with us.

With all the lost boys and the bickering that goes on, in parliament and other places, that sometimes overwhelm me, I needed to read something tender. I'm off to write something, I think.

Re: OLD LOVE

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 4:23 pm
by Maureen K Clifford
I think you nailed it Mate - well done.

Cheers

Maureen

Re: OLD LOVE

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 10:12 pm
by Terry
Thanks Zondrae,
I've had this poem for a fair while, just didn't get around to posting it, but if you got some enjoyment from it I'm glad I have Now.
I was always going to do something with it but never did.

Terry

Hi Maureen,
Thanks for that.

Terry