ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

The College of Humour

© Stephen Whiteside 2011

I enrolled in 'The College of Humour',
Embarked on a Bachelor course.
"You will learn in three years
To reduce folk to tears.
Your victims will laugh themselves hoarse."

In first year we studied Anatomy -
How to dissect a good joke;
The bones and the skin,
And the organs within
That'd make people splutter and choke.

There were limericks, puns, there were riddles;
'The Yankee, the Aussie, the Pom'.
We mastered them all
As we strove to enthrall,
And to utter each one with aplomb.

Theory then moved on to practice.
The tute rooms gave way to the pubs,
The Sunday church fetes,
The prim'ry school gates,
And all of the big sporting clubs.

Our mission was just to cause merriment.
More we'd not ask for, nor less.
Who managed to get
The most underpants wet
Was the one destined most to impress.

Well, alas for 'The College of Humour',
Its tenure but barely begun,
For all of our cracks,
The fell flatter than tacks.
So much for our 'Tertiary' fun.

It seems, then, that 'how to be funny'
You cannot just swot up in school.
I felt that I might,
And it gives me a fright
To think I could be such a fool.

'The College of Humour' is still now.
It stands as its own epitaph.
Its windows are dark.
It lacks any spark...
And it gives ev'ryone a good laugh!

Groooan, I'll bet your brother in law has better jokes than that Marty


Stephen......That's an interesting light-hearted look at education , from a different angle
The rhythm and sort of bouncy metre in the short lines, for me, suits the theme.

It's a big argument; education or natural intuition. I've seen a film somewhere that has Rowan Atkinson giving an educational presentation on how to do humour. My opinion is that it is a combination of both. To what proportion, I wouldn't know.

G/day Stephen,
Another enjoyable read.
I'm afraid I must own up to having only been to the university of life, I've learned a bit, but these days I often wish I'd had a better early education before I entered that Uni.

Terry

Enjoyed your humour as always Stephen.

Terry, the university of life has a lot going for it. My 6 years at uni (some years part time) were basically a waste of time (although a good time was had ) The course was not practical and in the end I saw that and left with one subject to go. I've learnt a lot more since then from life and from people.

Heather

well I thought your poem was witty
it gave me a giggle or two
it seems you’re not just a face pretty
but a funny bloke – Who Dr? You

Humourversity. Bit of a joke Right ?

Bob

Many thanks all for your kind comments. Neville, perhaps you're right. Maybe there's more to the idea of a college of humour after all!

Morning Stephen,

Trust you to come up with this idea. It is funny. Glenny Palmer can also write 'funny' poems. I believe that being able to write and perform 'funny' poems is a special talent. I think it is difficult to learn. One of my problems is confidence! I don't think I am very funny. But... following Glenny's tutorial, I am trying to write something funny. 'Strike me Pink' is amusing because it is based on fact and people can relate to the experience so is 'Mrs Mickey's Menu'. I'd like to be able to perform, on stage, the way I do at home. I would aim for a cross between Graham Johnson and Carol Heuchan. Perhaps I try too hard.

Having to go to school to be learn to be funny is....just,.....well.....not funny.

Well there you go Marty I should have learnt one of my old lessons " Never assume "