ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

OK, Heather. Here's a poem. (Bob won't like it, though.)


A Poem About Something

© Stephen Whiteside 13.03.11

This is a poem about nothing,
A poem ‘bout nothing at all;
No hero, no villain, no moral,
No point to it, not even small.

I don’t even know why I writ it.
I look at its lines now with scorn.
I tell you, I just want to hit it.
It died long before it was born.

It’s a terrible waste of good paper.
The same could be said of the ink.
To think that a tree was dismantled for this,
The guilt nearly drives me to drink.

Perhaps if I’d writ it on kindle,
I wouldn’t be feeling so bad.
Like a big ball of wool and a spindle,
We’ll soon see the ball-point and pad.

So it isn’t a poem about nothing.
It’s a poem ’bout the nature of change.

I attempted a poem about nothing,
But I found it was out of my range.

See, you can’t write a poem about nothing.
You could leave the pad clean as a bone,
But that’s not a poem about nothing.
It’s just nothing, all on its own.

So, take the advice of another,
Who fancies himself as a bard.
Make all your poems about something or other,
‘Cause nothing’s just too bloody hard!

Brilliant Stephen. Don't worry about Bob, Stephen, he's in Queensland ossifying away...

Yeah, the Queensland ossification rate is 4.2% above the national average. Probably something to do with the heat.

Hey come on you lot stop using big words! I have to keep going to the dictionary to see if you are insulting me or not.

I'll have you know that I did a lot of schooling and I liked it so much i stayed in some grades for a couple of years but then grade four was pretty hard


Clever Stephen Very Clever.

Oh does everyone call you Stephen or Steve ? I only get called Robert when I'm in trouble, which is most of the time.


Bob

Thanks, Bob.

Yeah, pretty much Stephen. Never been a great fan of Steve, though I do get it occasionally. Come to think of it, though, my best mate calls me Steve. Hmm. Interesting... He lives in Queensland, too...but he didn't always. Time for bed, I think.

I go to bed early every night Stephen but it is the getting up and going home that buggers me.


Yeah about that time I think mate see ya.

Bob

Bob, Stephen is definitely a Stephen, not a Steve. Most definitely not a Stevie.

I was thinking more Stevo the Devo ?????.

Thats just the Aussie in me coming to the fore.

Robere

I'm thinking not. Mad nutty professor maybe, but not Stevo...

Very clever Stephen, as always, and you're right of course you can't write a poem about nothing. Your poem explains that very clearly.