BARD SPAR
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 12:19 pm
Some time last century...in a previous life...we took our caravan with 'The Wandering Wordsmith' written all over it, to Winton. We were visited by the only human on the planet who can out talk me, & after a 2 day talkathon that my then hubby Al, refereed, I penned....
BARD SPAR
© 2001 Glenny Palmer
I never thought I’d see it, thought the day would never come,
when someone matched me word for word, ‘tsenough to strike me dumb.
Dressed in stripey braces and in training I could see
he’d make me call on all my wits and speech ability.
He threw a verb, I ducked & weaved, I hit him with a noun;
he uttered two profanities and tumbled to the ground.
He grabbed me by the ankle with a clever preposition,
I landed flat on top of him, we strained in opposition.
He got up with a paragraph, I scarce believed my ears,
and then he paused to take a breath, the first he’d had in years.
And then he split infinitive, it threw me for a six,
I got a whole darned sentence in, that put him in a fix.
This fight was getting nasty but we had a referee,
good old Al sat patiently, ten times he said, ‘scuse me.’
It didn’t do him any good, he fainted in the end
from looking left & right too fast at me and then my friend.
The second day we faded, started using euphemisms,
we’d used up all the adjectives and took to altruisms.
Al recovered, took a breath and screamed, ‘Odds on I’ll lay ‘em,
give up the fight now Glenny, you’ve been beat…by Geoffrey Graham!’
BARD SPAR
© 2001 Glenny Palmer
I never thought I’d see it, thought the day would never come,
when someone matched me word for word, ‘tsenough to strike me dumb.
Dressed in stripey braces and in training I could see
he’d make me call on all my wits and speech ability.
He threw a verb, I ducked & weaved, I hit him with a noun;
he uttered two profanities and tumbled to the ground.
He grabbed me by the ankle with a clever preposition,
I landed flat on top of him, we strained in opposition.
He got up with a paragraph, I scarce believed my ears,
and then he paused to take a breath, the first he’d had in years.
And then he split infinitive, it threw me for a six,
I got a whole darned sentence in, that put him in a fix.
This fight was getting nasty but we had a referee,
good old Al sat patiently, ten times he said, ‘scuse me.’
It didn’t do him any good, he fainted in the end
from looking left & right too fast at me and then my friend.
The second day we faded, started using euphemisms,
we’d used up all the adjectives and took to altruisms.
Al recovered, took a breath and screamed, ‘Odds on I’ll lay ‘em,
give up the fight now Glenny, you’ve been beat…by Geoffrey Graham!’
