ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

Eggs

© Stephen Whiteside 10.07.2011

You can boil them in a billy.
You can fry them in a pan.
You can scramble them or poach them,
Cook them any way you can,

But if you're on the wallaby,
And all the wood is wet,
You will want to get their goodness
Any way that you can get.

So you take your egg and crack it
Just an inch above your mouth,
Then you give a mighty swallow,
And you'll find it's heading south.

You will scarcely even taste it,
As behind your tongue it lands,
Though you'll catch a faint aroma
From the dribbles on your hands.

It's a calorific H-bomb.
It's a drink as smooth as silk.
It's a nog without the brandy.
Or the sugar. Or the milk.

And if you have a moustache,
Well, it's there that trouble lies,
For it soon becomes a sweet and
Sticky magnet for the flies.

You can boil them in a billy.
You can fry them in a pan.
You can scramble them or poach them,
Cook them any way you can.

So if you're out there hiking,
And your stove is out of gas,
Then take 'em raw and tender...
Though it looks a little crass.

Great poem...horrible recipe.

More of an anti-recipe really, isn't it, Neville.

Could never eat anything that comes out of a chooks bum.


Bob

Cloaca?

PRobably tastes crass too Stephen. Enjoyed the cooking lesson but dont' think I'll be trying this one!

Heather

Now maureen cracked up because i put the axe outside the hen house but the thing that got them laying was the golf ball that i put in the nest box.


Now a regular Two eggs a day .


Bob

Hey Stephen,

Hi
what a great Polka; The Googie Polka!

A lot of fun,
Thanks for the dance,

Worddancer

Sorta grows on ya this one Stephen. I really like your use of the slang " On the wallaby "


Big fan of our Aussie language. Went to America a few years back and got pulled up all the time as people wanted me to say Gidday Mate just so they could hear the accent.


Bob

Morning all,

Stephen and Bob, it may be of interest to you regarding the phrase 'On the Wallaby'. My writing group had 'On the Wallaby Tack' as our topic one week and the poems were so good that I compiled them into a little book. When we were finished distributing them I had published over 70 copies. We had, at the time, an email contribtor to our weeky writing, a lady from Cornwall, England. I think she had me send about 25 to her. So there are a few little (A5), orange covered books, with an old swaggie on the front, titled 'On The Wallaby Track' floating round England. Kate also related a story about how she was reading one of these books on a ferry ride and was asked about it. She promptly gave the stranger the copy. I'll post my poem..... it is an odd one.