The Outhouse.

[Bob Pacey]

Just because we are posting old poems ?

THE OUT HOUSE

For many years they had the pan it really served them well
But the son had never liked the thing he couldn't stand the smell.
We should put one inside the house ! he muttered every other day
On those cold nights in winter it would really pay it's way.

But his dad would never waver so he then hatched up a plan
I'll blow the bloody dunny up and along with it the pan.
So later on that evening he laid the dynamite
Then hid behind a log and rubbed his hands with sheer delight.

Just then from out the back door his dad burst at a full run
Caught short whilst in the kitchen, oh it really wasn't fun.
He shouted out a warning that the fuse was on the go
But dad was just to far away, he didn't want to know.

The out house door slammed shut behind as dad now sought relief
The son he found some cover quick and thought about his grief.
Well the blast was quite horrendous for it shook the ground around
Dad staggered from the rubble but then quickly went to ground.

At his side his son was fast to be he nursed his fathers head
He surely thought that such a blast would find his old man dead.
But his fathers eyes were open though his look was most forlorn
His son then sighed in pure relief he would not have to mourn.

Are you ok dad ? he enquired, please say something to me
I need to know that your ok a spark of life to see.
I'm ok son his dad replied although I've hurt me head
But if I'd dropped that in the kitchen son we'd all be bloody dead.


BOB PACEY
21/8/98

[Maureen K Clifford]

Laughed reading this one Bob - it's a classic.

We had my Aunty and Uncle out from UK and told them to burn off the Dunny before using it out on the 2nd property to make sure no redbacks, snakes etc were lurking. Hadn't been used in over a month. The flames that sprang out of the hole were amazing nearly singed Ron's eyebrows

[Neville Briggs]

They should have sold the methane to the gas company.

[Bob Pacey]

Suprisingly I entered this into a competition once and the judges comments were simply.

An old yarn rehashed ! now I thought that judgeing was restricted to the poem it self, that is how it was written ect ??/

I thought at the time funny comment to make ? Has anyone else experienced such.


Bob

[worddancer]

Oh you are clever man Bob writing such a funny poem about a smelly old dunny, and I suppose you performed this 'dead pan'!

This almost as funny as 'herding Cats.

We use to have the night cart come in the 'wee' hours to change the dunny in Victoria.
It was almost done with stealth, like the bloke mustn't get caught.
When I first came came across this masterpiece of plumbing
I couldn't believe this primitive privy was still in existence let alone used!
They definitely had a most recognisable aroma.
I much prefer the 'Long drop', I don't think they explode, not on the golf course anyway


Eliza

[Bob Pacey]

Hi Eliza. We have a local permaculture garden where I go to practice poetry and they have a composting toilet. A ouple of years back someone set fire to it and i reckon the only thing that stopped a big explosion was that the water pipe to the hand basin was plastic and it melted and sprayed water on the fire.


The sign inside says please do not put anything in this toilet that you have not eaten first ?????

This is very popular as a performance piece Eliza and always gets a laught.

Bob