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Secret poem! Shhhh
Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 9:59 am
by mummsie
This poem is having a holiday!
Secret poem
Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 10:32 am
by Maureen K Clifford
Hi Sue
Is enwend a word???? Wend certainly is but unwend...I don't think is - I could be wrong though.
You could perhaps try
At smoko on that final day, his story would unwind
as he poured his heart out to his friend. The one he'd leave behind.
Just a thought
Really love the poem it is very sensitive and a story very beautifully told. Thank you Sue
Cheers
Maureen
Re: secret poem
Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 10:45 am
by mummsie
Thanks Maureen for pointing that out and for taking the time to read.
Me and my english!!!
I have made an adjustment which I think suits, and still keeps it as my own. Thanks again.
Cheers
Sue
Re: secret poem
Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 11:46 am
by Maureen K Clifford
Good on you Sue that works really well
Cheers
Maureen
Re: "secret poem
Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 1:31 pm
by william williams
Con Grats Sue She's alright
Bill the old battler
Re: secret poem
Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 4:55 pm
by mummsie
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment Bill.
Re: secret poem
Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 5:20 pm
by Terry
Hi Sue,
A excellent story.
Your writing is coming along in leaps and bounds.
Terry
Re: secret poem
Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 6:30 pm
by mummsie
Thank you Terry, I'm trying hard to improve. As a matter of fact, that is the first time I have attempted a verse with any length, usually I struggle with the story line and the syntax, but there is another story. Thank you for commenting.
Cheers
Sue
Re: secret poem
Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 8:12 pm
by Heather
Held me to the end Sue. Doing great!
Heather
Re: "secret poem
Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 9:13 pm
by Bob Pacey
Always takes an effort Sue but it is always worth it.
I will admit I'm hard to hold and tend to speed read a bit but this has come up ok.
Chers Bob