ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

It is so quiet you could hear a flea f--t !!!

We all better post some poetry this week.

I think there are a few versions of this floating around, i got told it as a yarn on another site.

What A Day

I was sitting in my local pub
About to drink a can
When this big bloke came into the bar
A monster of a man.

He knocked me off my bar stool
And gave me an evil sneer
Said ‘ Gees I’m bloody thirsty “
And then he sculled me beer.

I said “ mate I aint gonna fight ya
I don’t wanna have a blue
Cause I’ve had a bastard of a day
Then I meet a bloke like you

See I had a few last evening
And I woke up sick and tired
Got into work an hour late
So I got bloody fired.

So back down to the pub I went
To drown me sorrows at the bar
Hit a tree while driving home
And wrote off me brand new car.

I got home really early
Feeling sick and bloody sore
Then I found me missus playing round
With the bloke who lives next door.

So I’ve got no job, no car or missus
Mate its cut me to the core
And now I meet a bloke like you
It must be Murphy's bloody law.

So I don’t wanna fight ya mate
there would be no point I fear
cause I was gonna kill meself
but you’ve just drunk me poisoned beer.


Bob Pacey (c)

If you drink and drive you're a bloody idiot!

.... yep, that's an old one Bob. Donny Lloyd has been doing it for years, it's almost like his signature piece.

That's the problem with joke poems, everyone has a crack at it ...

manfredvijars wrote:....

That's the problem with joke poems, everyone has a crack ...

...at it, Marty....at it...

Last year I entered a poem in a comp at a local gym for a free membership, Now I'm pretty flexable and the poem had to be about Boobs ? A subject on which I'm somewhat of a expert.

They would not accept my entry even though I signed it Bobby. Talk about descrimination.

These are the first verses.

Ever since I was a little girl
I've had this single minded scheme.
I always wanted Boobies,
That would make the men all dream.

As slowly I got older
My breasts began to grow.
But why oh why I ask myself
Do the dammed things grow so slow.

They started as a pimple
with a rounded little top.
But by the time I'd reached fifteen
It was like someone yelled STOP !

See nothing wrong with that ?

Bob

Being a gym it obviously had to be about man-boobs, Roberto

Or wishful thinking?