ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

THE TAIL GATER


There's a monster out there
to worry and scare
the steady and well behaved drivers.
He swoops like a beast
that's craving to feast
with ruthless and savage incisors.

As you journey along,
you're doing no wrong
enjoying the sights of the highway;
there he is, in the rear !
so horribly near !
his chromium teeth snarling..."make way "

He's a bull at a gate;
the bloke who can't wait;
that terrorist tail-gating truckie.
He's a menace, a cad,
or maybe just mad.
The cops should book him ( if you're lucky )

Well, he can't bully me,
I'll beat him, you'll see,
'cause when there's a good upward grade;
he'll be dragging that load
like a snail up the road,
while I speed away undismayed.

Good one Neville. I just thought the word undismayed didn't seem quite right. .. I did enjoy the poem though.

Heather

Hey Neville don't pick on the truckies most of them are good courteous drivers, and never try to overtake one going downhill. Like the poem though

I did once in my old Mazda 929 when I was very newly licensed and driving solo up to Townsville....never again...frightened the living daylights out of me. Had no idea in those days about fully laden trucks and weight v speed. Lucky I'm still here to tell the tale.

Tailgaters are a menace - I would have liked a sign to go on the back of my car along the lines of - If you show a little patience I will open the tailgate and you can drive right on in but would have preferred a big sledgehammer (shades of James Bond) that activated and smashed onto their bonnets

I know Maureen, it's not only truckies, but it's very intimidating to look in the mirror and all you can see in the back window is a grill.


I thought Heather that rhythm of the third line would go...

"cause WHEN there's a GOOD upward GRADE" ( three accents)

and that the reader would be able to hear that the rhythm of the last line would be,

"while I'LL speed aWAY undisMAYED." ( three accents )

I realize that some of the metre here is not straightforward, but I think it's good practice to find some syncopated rhythms for a bit of metric variety, otherwise it's endless Dr. Seuss.
So I think it could even go
" while I'll SPEED away UNdisMAYED " ( three accents )

That varies the metre and offends the dogma of "consistent metre" but my reading shows me that such variation is accepted in contemporary practice even in structured metric writing. However the stresses are placed, there is still three stresses in the line, which is the main consideration.


Thanks for the encouraging comment.

I've got tailgaters sorted. I slow down where there is no chance for them to pass. That frustrates them further & they edge closer still, & when there's no grill left to see, but I can see the whites of their eyes....I turn on my parking lights, which they think are my brakes.....Oh what fun!! They slam their anchors on & waver around....& then it's their problem who is bearing down on their ar*e end....while I sail away laughing me 'ead orf. They're a bloody menace & dumb! Do they have any idea what will happen to them if the hydraulics on a truck 3 feet in front of them blow?

Rant over......( Neville...don't tell will ya?)

trust you Glenny.

Like it Neville. I had no problem with the metre. I haven't got used to organising metre by counting the strong and weak syllable sequence yet; still learning - and your comments about your own poem are a help. To me, it either sounds right, or it doesn't. Yours did. Cheers.

So that was you in that old Merc near Theodore ? Get a bloody move on Dear !


Bob


You poem reminds me of Bobby Millers The Volvo Driver Nev.


To true.

Bob

Must be close to see his teeth are made of chromium, Nev.

We're lucky up here - don't have enough traffic on our roads to get any tail-gating

I enjoyed your poem. Very disciplined and structured for a Briggs

Cheers, Marty

Mr Briggs, IMO, is a most disciplined & structured chappy Marty. Perhaps he otherwise lets fly in his poems? (A bit like sneaking out while the hostiles sleep?...te he)
Goodonyasboth. You give me the laughs I need....

Happeee New Year
Glenny