Merry (BAH HUMBUG!!!!) Christmas

[keats]

Yeah, Christmas Time is here again
It's just a pain in the bum
Coming from my wallet
Making my feelings numb

And once a year we have to give
Those gifts to one and other
It makes you glad that Jesus never
Had a sister or brother!

Sometimes I give folks my CD
Sometimes I write a poem
Or I give their gift to charity
('cause charity begins at home)

I curse that bloody Manger
And I curse Santa too
I curse the shops, the credit card
And bloody children too!

And traditional Christmas dinners
Plum pudding, Turkey, Ham
Hell, I'd crucify somebody
For some Barbied Snags or lamb!

And those noisy midget children
Screaming in your ear
Can only be negated by
Some Bourbon and some Beer

Grandpa's bloody snoring
Passing wind into his chair
While his dentures balance threateningly
As we take bets and stare

So I up and leave the party
Walk home on wobbly legs
For tomorrow I must hit hit the shops
And start buying Easter Eggs!

So to all you Christmas Revelers
Enjoy your Christmas Day
And a simple wish for New Year's
Please make Christmas go away!!

©Neil McArthur 2010

[Zondrae]

Grouch!

Did you just find out about Santa?

[keats]

Yeah, I just did a school workshop and the Kids told me!!! I am most upset!!

[Dave Smith]

I’m with you Zondrae, Me thinks Keats you protest to much just in case somebody might see the real you, I tend to agree about the food though, If I try hard I might lose 4 or 5 kg each year and put on 10 or 12 at Christmas time, but think of all the family fun, we usually sit between 20 and 30 at our Christmas lunch.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND YOURS KEATS.

TTFN

[Heather]

Who's a grumpy old man then....?

It's just not the same when the kids start to ask for money instead of gifts from Santa is it?

Heather

[Trisha Patterson]

Mmmm...does sound somewhat familiar....but we wouldn't miss it for quids!!! Merry Christmas grumblebum!
Cheers
Trish

[Leonie]

Psst Keats, don't tell anyone, but I'm not the biggest fan of the whole Christmas sideshow either. I like the lights and the pretty decorations but you can keep the crowds and the endless Christmas music .. and the heat .. and the shopping .. and the having to be nice to people you don't really care for all that much.

But .. I put the tree up today, and the lights look pretty, maybe it's not so bad after all.

[Bellobazza]

Dear Santa,
Here's my Christmas list...it isn't very long.
Please make sure you don't overlook "that girl" near Wollongong.

Oh, and Santa, while you're at it, though Australia's awful big,
visit all the forum members in your reindeer-powered rig.

I'm sure they all will welcome you, then proceed to bash your ear
with their latest verse confection washed down with a nice cold beer.

Sorry, I forgot!...of course, you're driving and the law must be observed,
so milk and chocolate cake will be the fare that you'll be served.

And Santa, even Keatsie I am sure will treat you right.
(bring him something for his liver, when you call on Christmas night!)

HO, HO, HO. Merry Christmas everyone.

Will.

[Heather]

Will you always manage to bring a smile to my dial when I need it most. Thanks.

Heather

[Suzanne]

He... He... He!
Ho... Ho... Ho!

Merry Christmas
Suzanne