(don't think it's a true story
)RABBITS REVENGE (A rhyming version of an old joke)
Awaiting on extraction, of a tooth beyond repair
The aging rabbit trapper in the dental surgeon’s chair,
So calmly! sat in silence with no sign of nerve, nor fear,
For many years had long since gone, that from pain, he’d shed a tear!
The dentist said, “let’s have a look, now open up yer’ gob”
Then “strewth! Oh! Gawd! Me man! This ain’t no ordinary job!”
There greeting him a grotesque sight, not covered in the book
Of dental training, that he knew, that showed a tooth so crook!
There rotting in an abscessed gum of colour greenish black
In swollen mounds of oozing puss, the tooth! was at the back,
“To operate on this!” he said, “we will anaesthetise!”
But of his view the rabbit trapper, did not sympathise!
“I’ve only ever felt pain,” he said, “twice in all me’ life!”
“So rip it out, don’t hold back, just get workin’ with yer’ knife!”
The dentist unimpressed replied, “at least you’ll have a local!”
To which the patient then refused, (in tone a little vocal!)
So the dental man didn’t argue, with this mind so resolute!
Just thought, okay! you’ll suffer now, you stupid old galoot!
And so his operating skills, were tested to the max’!
He cut and pulled and yanked and hacked, did all but use an axe!
Resulting in a bloodied pulp, that no way could he prise,
And calmly sat the trapper, who didn’t even bat his eyes!
So on and on the battle raged, he thought it near insane
That any mortal person, could endure so much pain!
‘Til finally this dentist, in a near exhausted state,
Produced a pair of multi-grips to settle this debate!
With knee upon the trappers chest and one almighty wrench!
Away then came the evil tooth, and what! …a putrid stench!
An awful, bloodied messy thing with roots a sickly dark
That more so than a tooth, resembled a stump of …ironbark!
The trapper rinsed and spat then said, “how much now? what’s the sting?”
The dentist still in shock replied, “I’ll not charge you a thing!
Just tell me now of those two times that you, experienced pain?
For how, one could stand such affliction, I must ascertain,”
The old man paused, then quietly said, “it goes back many years,”
And just the thought! of that day, glazed his eyes with moistened tears.
“’Twas late one day, out checkin’ traps, and it was gettin’ dark,
I’d set two traps so very close, and one! forgot to mark,
The one I knew, I’d camouflaged, by using dirt for cover
And when inspecting closely, I squatted! on the other!
The dusk had caused poor vision, I’d forgot my spectacles,
And from my baggy tattered shorts, there dropped! my testicles!”
“ I heard the snap! and felt the pain! in one almighty flash!
Excruciating! Agonising! Evil sounding …Mash!”
The dentist, in amazement listened, as if to a crime,
With knees crossed and through teeth clenched asked, “when was the second time?”
“The second time!” the old man said, with tears he couldn’t restrain,
“The second time was when! That …Bloody trap ran out of Chain!”
© Ron Boughton 2008.
tight though!