ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

GREENEARTH BILL

'Twas Greenearth Bill from Wentworthville who found the cycleway,
he gave up on the crowded bus run by the UTA,
then dressed himself in lycra gear, so nerdish to be seen,
while off he went to KMart where he bought a cheap machine.
And as he flashed his credit card and whizzed it through the slide
the checkout kid said with a jeer 'Aren't you too old to ride?'

'Get out you Gen-Y ageist lout, you geriophobic flea,
you deconstructed dandiprat, don't talk like that to me!
We must reduce our greenhouse gas, as everybody knows -
with all those climate change deniers, I could come to blows,
'cause care for the environment I hold with all my might,
just ask a free-range chicken what is moral, good and right.

There's something that we all should do, this climate change is real;
use less polluting oil and gas and less of wasteful steel.
I'm cutting down my carbon print, I'm fighting the good fight,
I'll ride this eco-friendly thing away and out of sight' .

'Twas Greenearth Bill from Wentworthville that on his bike bestrode
to navigate the choking fumes of Parramatta Road.
He put his safety helmet on and paused for right of way,
but at that moment something horrid took his breath away.
A bunch of bogan louts from out of Maccas up the street
just threw their scraps and papers on the ground around their feet.

Bill pedalled fast and swooped on them 'You mullet-headed yobs,
you're messing the environment by spreading waste like slobs '.
But as he charged, Bill skidded and his bike just spun around
and Greenearth Bill, all red with rage, fell sprawling to the ground.
The bogans pelted Bill with fries, to great hilarity,
and threw a chocolate shake at him , as sticky as can be.
They went and grabbed his precious bike, while Bill let out a shriek
they chucked the bike to join the rubbish in the drainage creek.

'Twas Greenearth Bill from Wentworthville,next day all bruised and sore,
he said ' I've had some mighty blues with grubs like that before,
I've decked a no-neck ocker who left chewy on me seat,
but that was sure the toughest mob of litterbugs to beat.
Those vandalizers mate, have got a rotten nerve
but they will get the punishment they certainly deserve.
The cost of electricity will gouge them, yes it will !
A carbon tax henceforth is sweet revenge for Greenearth Bill.

Love it Neville!

Do people still have mullets? Or is it a Sydney thing?

Line three - bit concerned about the syntax there Neville!

Thanks Matt, I'm still surviving thanks. I am striving for that real poem but in the meantime, this will have to do


What do you mean Heather, it was good enough for Banjo P.

Yo tell 'em Neville - love it

Are the Government thinking of introducing a sin tax now as well as car bomb tax???? Oh lordy lordy

Noooooooooooooooooooo


Just had a mental picture of Neville in lycra.



Noooooooooooooo



Bob

Neville Briggs wrote:you deconstructed dandiprat

Love it, Nev

Cheers, Marty

I own two bicycles Bob, and I still ride them. Sadly not in lycra , anyway, me in lycra is not as disgusting as a grungy toe.

Thanks Marty. Not exactly sure what I meant by that but it sounded very post-modernist Gen-Y to me .

The deconstructed bit did as for the dandiprat though (love it) to me that was more Henry Lawsonish. Doubt Gen y would even know what a dandy was much less a prat. They would I suspect use something far more impolite and obscene.

The word I liked best was the one I invented ( I think ) geriophobic, although it's worse than that, old people are invisible, I know ....I am one and I am aware of it more and more as I get around. And I wish young people when they do deign to talk to an old bloke , wouldn't gabble so fast and so indistinctly.


What's the Gen-Y term for grumpy old man

...Err, Neville I think...Neville!

But I like the poem Neville!