The Glogs of Gush
Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 1:49 pm
The Glogs of Gush and the Ugs of Pudge
(with apologies to the great C. J.)
Now sweet Jay was a Glog and tough Tee was an Ug
who picnicked each day on a red and blue rug,
with some pastries and cheeses and bottles of pop,
and cupcakes with icing and sprinkles on top.
As they bantered and joked all the townsfolk passed by
and wondered when they’d get a slice of the pie,
but sweet Jay and tough Tee kept on scoffing the food,
a habit the people considered quite rude.
But there came, one fine day, a strange turn of events,
when Tee noticed something that gave him offence:
“I am sorry,” he said, “but I can’t help but see
your cupcake has many more sprinkles than me!”
“Utter nonsense!” quoth Jay, “You are right out of line,
I notice that yours has more icing than mine!”
“That’s all bosh,” shouted Tee, “all you Glogs are the same,
I’ll fight to the death to defend the Ug name!”
And that’s just what they did on the red and blue rug,
as they scratched and they bit, it was Glog against Ug
in a battle so vicious the people, appalled,
averted their eyes as they wrestled and brawled.
“These are mine,” cried sweet Jay, “ all these cheeses and pies,
and cupcakes with icing, so you would be wise
to go straight back to Ug, to the land of the Pudge,
and see what they say, you let them be the judge!”
“But I covet these pastries," wailed Tee, "and this pop,
I’ll wolf down each crumb and I’ll drain ev’ry drop.
I can’t live without cheeses, the light of my life,
and nor can my daughters and my lovely wife!”
“Now be careful,” warned Jay, “of the words that you use,
for you do not know what it’s like in my shoes.
If you make implications that people don’t like,
you’ll soon be advised you should get on your bike!”
So the battle went on in the land of the Gush
until all the food that they had was just mush,
while the bottles of pop pretty soon lost their fizz.
And as for the rug? Well, who knows where that is?
You may weep for the Glogs or feel sorry for Ugs,
but, sadly, we’re all being taken for mugs.
When the likes of sweet Jay and tough Tee do their thing,
the tail wags the dog, and that tail has a sting.
© David Campbell, November 2, 2012
(with apologies to the great C. J.)
Now sweet Jay was a Glog and tough Tee was an Ug
who picnicked each day on a red and blue rug,
with some pastries and cheeses and bottles of pop,
and cupcakes with icing and sprinkles on top.
As they bantered and joked all the townsfolk passed by
and wondered when they’d get a slice of the pie,
but sweet Jay and tough Tee kept on scoffing the food,
a habit the people considered quite rude.
But there came, one fine day, a strange turn of events,
when Tee noticed something that gave him offence:
“I am sorry,” he said, “but I can’t help but see
your cupcake has many more sprinkles than me!”
“Utter nonsense!” quoth Jay, “You are right out of line,
I notice that yours has more icing than mine!”
“That’s all bosh,” shouted Tee, “all you Glogs are the same,
I’ll fight to the death to defend the Ug name!”
And that’s just what they did on the red and blue rug,
as they scratched and they bit, it was Glog against Ug
in a battle so vicious the people, appalled,
averted their eyes as they wrestled and brawled.
“These are mine,” cried sweet Jay, “ all these cheeses and pies,
and cupcakes with icing, so you would be wise
to go straight back to Ug, to the land of the Pudge,
and see what they say, you let them be the judge!”
“But I covet these pastries," wailed Tee, "and this pop,
I’ll wolf down each crumb and I’ll drain ev’ry drop.
I can’t live without cheeses, the light of my life,
and nor can my daughters and my lovely wife!”
“Now be careful,” warned Jay, “of the words that you use,
for you do not know what it’s like in my shoes.
If you make implications that people don’t like,
you’ll soon be advised you should get on your bike!”
So the battle went on in the land of the Gush
until all the food that they had was just mush,
while the bottles of pop pretty soon lost their fizz.
And as for the rug? Well, who knows where that is?
You may weep for the Glogs or feel sorry for Ugs,
but, sadly, we’re all being taken for mugs.
When the likes of sweet Jay and tough Tee do their thing,
the tail wags the dog, and that tail has a sting.
© David Campbell, November 2, 2012
