ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

The Ozzy Alfabett

© Stephen Whiteside 21.11.2012

"A" is for 'avrij', as in 'avrij bloke'.
"B" is for 'bewdy' (well that's how it's spoak).
"C" is for 'carna', as in 'Carna pize!'
"D"'s for a 'dronggo' wots cuvverd in flyz.

"E" is for 'effin'. You here it a lot.
"F" is for 'friggin'. (There's wurs, is ther not?)
"G" is for "Gawd!", or sumtimes "Gawstruth!"
"H" is for "Heba Sheeba Hooly Dooly, Ive got a saw toothe!"

"I" is for 'ijit' - a bloak hooz abserd.
"J" is for 'Jesus', a very rood wurd.
"K" is for 'kooky' and 'krummy' and 'krap'.
"L" is for 'lookatthatdrivelingsap'.

"M" is for 'mate'. It's a reely sik wurd.
"N" is for 'noggin'. (Its emtee, I've hurd.)
"O" is for 'austrich', a burd in a tree.
"P" is for "P-nut'. (Im told that is mee.)

"Q"'s for a critta wots nown as a 'qokka'.
"R" is for 'Normie' - a kool ozzie rokka.
"S" is for 'sheela'. (Id like to no wun!)
"T" is for 'turnitupmate. Pultheotherwun!'

"U" is for 'Up yorz!'. (Yell back "How far?")
"V" is for 'Valyant' (thats me mates kar).
"W"'s for 'wikid' and also for 'wimp'.
"X" is for...kant think of anythink rite now.

"Y" is for "Yubludydrongodoc, Gettalyfwydoncha!"
"Z" is for 'zap' as a mozzy gets fride.
Im orl out of letas, wiv too lines to go.
I dont think Iv got eny mor that I no.

There's that austrich again! He's gonna have to have a name soon.. Stephen this was supposed to be tomorrow's poem - how on earth are you going to get better than this one? I needed a good laugh - thanks.

Heather

Whatever it is you're taking Stephen I want some. Please advise

ROTFLMAO - Laughter is the best medicine so they say

I wanna know when Alfabett got two ts!

Holyfrigginmolywottaflaminrippabloodypome...carna Pize!

Thancs, orl. Didnoihaditinme.

The world would be a much duller place without you Stephen (& you too David)

I'm touched, Heather.

I know that Stephen. You are very special...