Tomato Juice

[Stephen Whiteside]

Tomato Juice

Tomato juice expands your chest.
Tomato juice beats all the rest.
Tomato juice will start your day
In an invigorating way.
Tomato juice that's cold and tart
Will comb your hair and make it part.
Tomato juice thrown down your hatch
Will make you master of your patch;
It will not rock your plane or boat,
Or cause your abdomen to bloat.
In fact you'll find - no ifs or buts -
You'll get a six pack on your guts.
Indeed, it offers many charms,
Like bulging muscles on your arms.
Tomato juice with toast and eggs
Will send a shiver down your legs.
Tomato juice is super fuel.
You'll prevail in any duel.
All lassitude, it quickly wrecks.
They say it's even good for sex.
It augments your fertility
So much more than herbal tea.
Consumption of tomato juice
Increases chances of papoose.
Those who drink it cannot lose.
It's so much healthier than booze.
Contains a range of vitamins.
Helps a fish grow bigger fins.
The oceans (scientists deduce)
Are 1% tomato juice.
Those who drink of juice tomato
Tap their feet in brisk staccato,
Dance and whirl and loop the loop,
While those who slurp tomato soup
Fall far behind, then fade and die.
It's very strange. I don't know why.
It's great for any Barb or Bruce.
Nothing beats tomato juice!
All I ask is when I die
Please place upon each sightless eye
Tomato juice - don't care which brand -
To take me to the promised land.

© Stephen Whiteside 28.05.2013

[Heather]

The things you learn here!

Another day, another laugh Stephen. Thanks,

Heather

[Stephen Whiteside]

It is deeply gratifying once again to learn I have given you a little pleasure, Heather,

[Heather]

I said "a laugh" Stephen!

[Stephen Whiteside]

Isn't a laugh a pleasure?

[Heather]

Why of course it is.

[Bob Pacey]

Heather did you just admit to being WRONG !


I concur Stephen your poems are always a treat and almost always ensure a Pleasurable Laugh


Bob

[r.magnay]

...I got your drift Heather, your sense of humour is, shall we say a bit above some people!....

[Stephen Whiteside]

I didn't...

[Heather]

Ross my sense of humour has been known to get me into strife.

You concur Bob? I'm impressed!

Have some more tomato juice with your pie Stephen!

Heather