ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

My New Mate Spider

Now I’m not that big on housework cleaning up is such a chore
I do the washing up and laundry but the rest is just a bore.
Then one of the adds during the footy just made my jaw go slack
the cunning buggers have invented a machine called Robovac ?

Well I sat in awe and watched it as it roamed around the house
it cleaned in every nook and cranny and was a quiet as a mouse.
Then they advertised the price and I thought that is way to much
they must think us poor old aussie blokes are just the softest touch.

So I searched upon the internet and mate low and behold
I found one for a hundred bucks so I tell you I was sold.
I quickly sent my payment to them and it arrived in just a week
I almost tore the box apart, this machine just looked so sleek.

The instructions looked so simple not much you have to know
I charged the battery overnight then set the switch to go.
Well it took off like a rocket, it went sweeping everything in site
the kitchen was the first job “ Hey this thing looks all right“.

Well one thing that they lie about is being quiet as a mouse
the wiring noise the dammed thing made resounded through the house.
Then as for gently bumping things, it is like a forklift in a store
the nice vase in the corner quickly shattered on the floor.

Then the bloody little wavy thing that sweeps out from the side
tangled in the kitchen mat and wrapped around its side.
To get it all untangled took me half an hour or more
then I set it back to cleaning up around the bedroom floor.

The flaming thing found dirt and grit as fast as I could blink
I emptied out the catchment slot about five times I think.
But there are places in my bedroom where I just don’t go near
When it disappeared under the bed I cringed in utter fear.

I heard it bump and grind away as it bounced off all the legs
I heard some awful clunking noise as it gathered all the dregs.
For half an hour it wandered I thought it must be stuck
but I could still hear it moving as it cleaned up all my muck.

Then all at once things just went quiet I thought it must be dead
So I got down on the floor and looked underneath the bed.
Well there it sat in silence at the far end of the room
right up in the further corner amidst the dark and gloom.

It looked like some alien creature with cobwebs hanging off its hide
the little flashing light told me that it must now be very tired.
I dragged it from its hiding place and took it out into the light
But as I pulled the little lever and I dropped the thing in fright.

Spiders by the million started crawling from the crack
daddy long legs, small black ones and ones with colours on their back.
Little bits of fishing line and hooks and an old hat pin or two
Some dollar coins, a heap of fur and what looked like doggy - do ?

I sent in back in three times and it came back with a grisly haul
But on number four it was near empty so it must have got it all.
I now charge it up and use it for half an hour or so each day
It covers all the nook and crannies as it bumps and grinds away.

My rooms are looking spic and span no more grit upon the floor
I just pick it up each afternoon and throw the rubbish out the door.
I still have to sweep the corners cause it can not get into every crack
I’ve now nicknamed him Spider, my new friend The Robovac.

Bob Pacey (C)

Aren't they great little gadgets. I have a Roomba, his name is Ricky. I wonder why we all feel the need to name them. I even find myself talking to Ricky, like - "How did you manage to get stuck there?" or "You've missed a bit here Ricky, what's wrong with you." What's even worse, he talks back - he says "Clean Roomba's brushes" and "Please charge Roomba" in a rather stern voice, bossy little bugger. He obviously gets a little annoyed when he can't get back to his charging station.

Loved the poem.

Great poem I loved it and I want one!

Leonie - your Roomba sounds like my two year old great nephew - He says in very aggrieved tones to his Mum - No bath. Nooo! or when he wants to use his Potty - Wee wees - NOW Mummy

I got rid of my GPS car direction thingy because she was a smart A... as well - she used to tell me in very patronizing tones when I didn't follow her instructions to 'just follow the road.'

How do they navigate from a hard floor to a rug? Still not convinced they will cope with my dog hair problem - the only thing that ever has to date has been my beautiful if overweight and not terribly manouverable upright Dyson. He loves dog hair.

Hey Maureen. Someone on another forum I frequent has a Samsung self cleaning robot vacuum. Apparently it returns to the docking station and runs the brushes in reverse to unravel any dog hair. Then it cleans all the hair and dirt out of the vacuum cleaner and puts it into a bigger container on the docking station and then goes right back to cleaning. They have five dogs and are more than happy with the job it does.

Now I want that one, but I think I'll wait until they make one that does the dusting too. Oh it would be helpful if it could make the beds and do the washing and ironing as well.

Yeah house cleaning gadgets are so good , I just call mine ELAINE, does dishes and cooks too.

"Wack wack oh sorry"

TTFN (not so)

Good one Bob. "I thought it must be dead." That had me laughing out loud. Are they really as efficient as the advertising makes out?
Wazza

Warren I was not gonna spent big dollars to find out so got this one for $ 99 dollars through Godfrey's. I have two rooms to clean and heaps of shit everywhere but it worked its little rear off and although you still have to do the corners and where it cannot reach it is a pearler.



Bob

I found that one Leonie - a SR8855 (Navibot) that gets good reviews expecially from dog people. Not real cheap though at $500+ Maybe when the Dyson dies or I do - whichever comes first

Can someone please send around some dirt my robovac is coming back almost empty I think he is getting hungry ! I have started being messier just to keep him occupied .





Robert