ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

Henry's Rooster

I’d been wakin’ to the sound of Henry’s rooster.
It were wakin’ me at first light every day.
Guess I weren’t the placid bugger that I useter.
‘Cause his crowin was a-goin to turn me grey.

It were four a.m. the day I made my mind up.
No more drinkin’ till the time the job was done.
I’d been thinkin’ it real careful and decided
that I’d blow his crowin’ head off with me gun.

So I set the clock alarm to get up early.
Just before his bleedin’ screamin’ filled the air.
Well I found out where he liked to stand while singin’,
and I reckoned I could sneak my gun round there.

Right next day I got the chance to take a pot shot.
Thought I’d wait until he screeched his highest note.
Send some buckshot up his Khyber just for starters.
But I missed the sod and hit poor Henry’s goat.

Well now people - let me tell ya there was action.
First that billy started dancin’ round the grass.
Then old Henry came a-runnin round the corner.
They collided - and now Henry’s on his ….

With one jump I cleared the fence to get to Henry.
He was lyin’ there just gazin’ at the sky.
But that goat was off his bum and starin’ at me.
Rage and vengeance radiatin’ from each eye

Now discretion is the better part of valour.
And I figured this might be a classic case.
I turned round to run, but there was Henry’s rooster.
Black eyes blazin’, feathers fluffed, right in my face.

No way out! I thought right then “Mate you’re in trouble.”
But I wasn’t goin’ down without a fight.
So I swung that double barrel like to brain him.
But I missed again. “Aw Henry - you orright?”

When the doc. came, poor old Henry was still sleepin’.
Then the coppers came and took away me gun.
“Don’t go leavin’ town.” they said. “We’re not through talkin’.
If he carks it fella, you’re as good as done.”

Henry’s home now but I don’t think we’ll be speakin’.
And tonight I’ll put some ear muffs round me head.
But I tell ya if I’m woken up tomorrow
well - I’ve still got one more gun beneath me bed.

Ha ha! Love it! I can just picture it happening too! Well done.

Very Funny!!
Val W

Glad I don't live near you Wazza - you sound a bit accident prone to me.

Good one mate

I was camped at the Tamworth Caravan park a couple of years ago not far the Chook Man and his performing Roosters.
Every morning at some unearthly hour one of them used to start crowing. Going on the muttering you'd hear from fellow campers
it was just as well a few of them didn't have guns.

Cheers Terry

Such a shame that so many people have forgotten how to commune with nature I think the goats and the chooks sound delightful - can't say the same about the neighbours though

Fun write - I am grinning behind my frown of disapproval at your treatment of the animals Featured this on our Face book page for you.

Beaut!

Thanks everyone. Glad you got a giggle out of it. I'll check out the facebook page Maureen. Thanks.
Cheers all ... Wazza

I agree with Maureen, part of nature. One of my neighbours got rid of his rooster because it was crowing and he was worried about annoying the nearby residents. He apologised to me, but I hadn't noticed a thing.
But we think that you are a gentleman of pacifist tendencies, and it's all in the mind. The poem that is.

Good yarn Wazza.

Terry I"m surprised you could hear the roosters over the noise of the trucks! Whenever I stop at a caravan park now I ask to be as far away from the road as possible.