OUTWARD BOUND

[Neville Briggs]

OUTWARD BOUND

or Heave ho me hearties.

I could go down to the sea;
go down to the sea in a ship.
I'd like to enjoy some cruising
if only I didn't get sick.

My face gets a ghastly blanch,
my last meal is spouted forth,
and this effect happens aboard
the boat while it's still at the wharf.

I've taken a patent pill
to quell my vertiginous spell,
but when the horizon gyrates
the pill is expelled to the swell.

Foray on the ocean wave,
a jaunt on the heaving sea;
while you might enjoy all things nautical,
feel free to go without me.

[Heather]

Oh Neville you've brought back memories of a fishing trip gone wrong. We were in the calmest, clearest most beautiful waters protected by the outer islands of Fiji - tropical paradise. I'd had a perfect day kyacking and snorkling and sipping cocktails in a hammock. Then a fishing trip was suggested before dinner and I was up for it - what could go wrong - it was calm and perfect. About eight of us loaded into the tinny, with no life jackets (although I think I may have snatched one from somewhere), and our fishing lines were hand lines with nuts for weights - so Fijian. My alarm grew as we headed out to open sea beyond the protection of the islands with the swell seeming to come from all directions. Quickly, very, very embarrassingly quickly I became incredibly sea sick. It was the longest, most tortuous hour or two of my life and I felt ill and swayed for hours afterwards. Photos taken that night show me looking positively grey.

[manfredvijars]

Your rhyme is crap and your metre sucks!! ...

[Neville Briggs]

Oh Manfred, you should cleanse your soul by having a viewing of Dead Poet's Society , as Robin Williams says in that film " we are doing poetry not laying pipe "

The rhymes are suitably placed with the legitimate use of perfect plus slant, near rhyme or assonance.
The metre is the very traditional accentual trimeter, nothing odd about that.




Heather, I know what you mean, been there, suffered that. The line about still at the wharf is TRUE

[Ron]

Had a mate once Nev who would always shower, never have a bath as he reckoned it got too choppy in there!!!

Ron

[Bob Pacey]

There fixed it for ya nev old son.


I could go down to the sea;
yeah that's what I'd like to do.
I'd like to enjoy some cruising
if I could be sure I wouldn't spew !.

[Neville Briggs]

It's Manfred that needs fixing Bob.

[Bob Pacey]

Fixing or fixing up ! Nev


Bob

[Heather]

Is fixing the same as pickling?

[Neville Briggs]

I think Manfred can handle the pickling himself Heather.

Fixing, fixed up, straightened out, sorted out, corrected, repaired; all those Bob.