The Abbott and Palmer-cat

[David Campbell]

The Abbott and Palmer-cat
(with apologies to Edward Lear)

The Abbott and Palmer-cat went to sea
in a leaky old motor boat.
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
to buy the coal industry vote.
The Abbott looked up to the stars above,
and sang to a small guitar:
“Oh lovely Palmer! O Palmer, my love,
what a beautiful Palmer you are,
you are,
you are!
What a beautiful Palmer you are!”

Palmer said to the Abbott: “I do love your habit!
And how charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married, too long we have tarried,
but what shall we do for a ring?”
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
to the land where pollution grows,
and way out in front stood Minister Hunt
with a ring through the end of his nose,
his nose,
his nose,
with a ring through the end of his nose.

“Dear Hunt, are you willing to sell for one shilling
your ring?” Said the Huntster: “I will.”
So they took it away and were married next day
in the Senate way up on the hill.
They dined on some coal dug out of a hole,
and they downed a whole flagon of oil,
then, alack and alas, farted gallons of gas,
which they said could be buried in soil,
in soil,
in soil,
which they said could be buried in soil.

But hang on a second, they hadn’t quite reckoned
on breathing the stench they gave off.
With the cannons they fired they quite quickly expired,
with a pitiful, spluttering cough.
Now together they lie in the sweet by-and-by
where no climate change advocates dwell,
but don’t envy their lot, for it’s pretty darn hot
in the deepest of dungeons in Hell,
in Hell,
in Hell,
the deepest of dungeons in Hell.

© David Campbell 01/11/14

[Neville Briggs]

I think I get your drift.

[Maureen K Clifford]

- a marriage made in heaven perhaps

[Heather]

Very funny David. I'd love to see what you could do with a poem about Jackie Lambie....

[warooa]

Try Jacqui, Heather plenty of fodder there.

Good stuff, David.

Marty

[Heather]

A rose by any other name, Marty! Or should i say thorn?

Heather

[alongtimegone]

I don't think our Tony is much into gaieties David.
Wazza

[David Campbell]

Happy to have a go, Heather. Jacqui's pretty good at satirising herself, but maybe all we have to do is borrow a well-known nursery rhyme:

Jacqui Was A Little Lamb

Jacqui was a little lamb,
elected, don’t you know,
and everywhere that Jacqui went
her mouth was sure to go.

It followed her to school each day,
and broke the pollies’ rule.
It made the people laugh and play
to hear this lamb at school.

[Heather]

Perhaps replace "lamb" with "pup" David and "laugh" with "cry".

There's hours of fun in that David. Might have a go myself when i get time.

Heather

[Neville Briggs]

It reminds me David that there is a tradition of nursery rhymes or folk jingles as political satire.