JOCK O'SHAE'S DEFENCE
Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 5:25 am
JOCK O'SHAE'S DEFENCE
The day had come for Jock O'Shae to have his day in court
Jock had bought a 'bag of fruit' to look the way he ought
Resplendent in his finery, old Jock, he took the stand
He leaned across the judge's desk, and shook the judges hand
'Mornin' judge, I'd like to say some words in my defence
It's true I drove my Holden ute through Mabel Mowbray's fence
But your worship, there's some things that really must be said
I had to go through Mabel's fence to get to Charlie's shed
The judge picked up his gavel and he banged it on the block
'Order in the court' he shouted, 'Please continue, Jock'
'Thank you sir, your holiness' said Jock, 'This here's the thing
'I've been courtin' Mabel Mowbray twenty years this spring
Then Charlie Smith just turns up, and he tries to 'cut my grass'
What's a bloke to do, your wig-ness? What indeed, I ask'
'I found out Charlie took up lodgings in sweet Mabel's shed
So I decides to go around and knock him on the head'
'I'm driving down towards the house, my knickers in a knot
Not thinking 'drive through Mabel's fence. No, sir, that I did not
But your highness, there was clearly forces at work here
To summon up the courage, I had downed a jug of beer
For most blokes that might seem a lot, but not to this man, judge'
Just enough to still the nerves, and settle up this grudge
But then I sees my Mabel out back hanging on the line
A pair of men's pyjamas and they sure as heck weren't mine
'That's when I kind of lost the plot, and ploughed on through the fence
The shortest route to Charlie Smith, and that there's my defence
A bloke would not be worth his salt, if he can't take a stand
And claim the woman that he loves, from some grub of a man
The judge just looked across at Jock, and simply shook his head
I hear that you already fixed both Mabel's fence and shed
I'll let you off, Jock, just this once, but hear me good, old mate'
Next time you visit Mabel, will you use the flamin' gate'
Copyright (c) Allan Cropper February 2015
The day had come for Jock O'Shae to have his day in court
Jock had bought a 'bag of fruit' to look the way he ought
Resplendent in his finery, old Jock, he took the stand
He leaned across the judge's desk, and shook the judges hand
'Mornin' judge, I'd like to say some words in my defence
It's true I drove my Holden ute through Mabel Mowbray's fence
But your worship, there's some things that really must be said
I had to go through Mabel's fence to get to Charlie's shed
The judge picked up his gavel and he banged it on the block
'Order in the court' he shouted, 'Please continue, Jock'
'Thank you sir, your holiness' said Jock, 'This here's the thing
'I've been courtin' Mabel Mowbray twenty years this spring
Then Charlie Smith just turns up, and he tries to 'cut my grass'
What's a bloke to do, your wig-ness? What indeed, I ask'
'I found out Charlie took up lodgings in sweet Mabel's shed
So I decides to go around and knock him on the head'
'I'm driving down towards the house, my knickers in a knot
Not thinking 'drive through Mabel's fence. No, sir, that I did not
But your highness, there was clearly forces at work here
To summon up the courage, I had downed a jug of beer
For most blokes that might seem a lot, but not to this man, judge'
Just enough to still the nerves, and settle up this grudge
But then I sees my Mabel out back hanging on the line
A pair of men's pyjamas and they sure as heck weren't mine
'That's when I kind of lost the plot, and ploughed on through the fence
The shortest route to Charlie Smith, and that there's my defence
A bloke would not be worth his salt, if he can't take a stand
And claim the woman that he loves, from some grub of a man
The judge just looked across at Jock, and simply shook his head
I hear that you already fixed both Mabel's fence and shed
I'll let you off, Jock, just this once, but hear me good, old mate'
Next time you visit Mabel, will you use the flamin' gate'
Copyright (c) Allan Cropper February 2015
(sorry Matt)