MARKED FOR LIFE

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Maureen K Clifford
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MARKED FOR LIFE

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Mon Mar 07, 2011 1:02 pm

Just wrote these as an exercise - same story - different technique. Came about as a result of Nevilles post. No 1 was actually my mornings homework on another site using 11 out of 12 prompts supplied - the prompts are in italics.

I personally enjoy the challenge of using the prompts and endeavouring to write a poem in under 30 minutes ... doesn't have to be too perfect at that point of time you can go back and fine tune it later - but for me anyway I find it focuses the mind and keeps it sharp - just trying to keep the old timers at bay. :lol:

What do you think???? Feel free to add your two bobs worth








MARKED FOR LIFE .. 1


We are only young – mere babies. Going nowhere now.
Running in circles – unsure as to why we are here.
There are familiar faces in these worn out places
and yet the fear is tangible and uncertainty makes us restless
and the dry earth is covered with a fury of scouring.

We see the stone man – he who never smiles,
whose face, in the dark shadows beneath his sweat stained hat
has more furrows than a ploughed paddock.
He holds a branding iron – and that does not bode well.
Where are our mothers? We can hear them calling.

Is this a lesson we have to learn? We run through the race
till our way is blocked. Iron gates close behind us, there is no escape.
We smell the burning hair and flesh – the red of catastrophe.
Hear the pitiful cries. Feel the pain. We cry, and the gate opens
and we are free and we flee to our Mothers who wait patiently.

We huddle shocked and hurting beside their massive sides,
their warmth and size comforting, their bovine tongues soothing.
We suckle, feel the warm fresh milk slake our thirsts
hear the familiar chuckle rumbling deep in their chests.
We are young – only babies and already have been marked by your scowl.

Maureen Clifford © 03/11



******




MARKED FOR LIFE .. 2



They’d been mustered from the paddocks at the very start of day
before the sun got hot and heavy on their hide.
Trotted beside their Mothers – through the scrub and gullies deep
and behind them fast a young ringer did ride.

Into the yards they scrambled and then the big melee
as the calves were separated from their Mums,
all around was noise and flurry a cacophony of sound
and you could see fear in the eyes of every one.

They were still only babies - they’d not left their Mums before
and though they saw some old familiar faces,
it was a new experience to be here in the yards
with the dogs behind pushing them up the races.

The air was dry and dusty with an odour somewhat sour
for the air was full of fear and trepidation.
Fifty tiny baby bowels from fear started to scour,
which just added to the stench and aggravation.

And then the man without a smile, beneath his battered hat
thrust something hot and heavy on their hide,
as they bucked and squealed in terror trying to escape the sting
they could hear their Mothers calling from outside.

The race gate opens, out they fly – hurry to Mothers side
her big bulk and warm soft hide is reassuring.
They suckle thirstily – she licks with bovine tongue so gentle
as her young calf moans with the pain he’s enduring.

So this is welcome to the world? What did they do to earn it?
Now marked for life forever, on their skin.
No doubt their life’s a short one for they’re just steak on the hoof
but mans actions now their joy for life has dimmed.

And the stone man is there watching – his face full of corrugations.
He’s more furrows than a paddock under plough.
To him they represent just purely dollars on the hoof,
as to their feelings he’s indifferent anyhow.

He’s not a cruel or vicious man, just doing what he knows
and trying to make a quid from off the land.
He’d never hurt an animal with malice that’s for sure
in his way he cares – but some don’t understand.

A farmer’s life’s a hard one. Hard on beast, woman and man
and a farmers day is often filled with strife.
You can pick them, like their animals in any place or town
for this country marks it’s country folk for life.

Maureen Clifford © 03/11
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

william williams

Re: MARKED FOR LIFE

Post by william williams » Mon Mar 07, 2011 2:20 pm

They’ve been mustered from the paddocks, at the very start of day
before the sun got hot and unmerciful on their hide.
Beside their Mothers they travelled, through scrub and gullies deep
and always there behind them a young ringer he did ride.

T’was at the yards they scrambled and there became a melee
as the calves were separated from their Mums,
and things became a flurry, a cacophony of sound
Pitifull fear was seen in the eyes of every little one.

who were still only babies – having never left there Mums
and though they saw some old familiar faces,
in that new frightening experience in the yards
with the dogs barking there behind them, nosily up the races.

The dry was and dusty air with an odour somewhat sour.
As fear from fifty tiny baby bowels started to scour
and the air was full of fear and trepidation,
that added to the stench and created aggravation.


Hi Maureen The first four verses I have changed to how I would have written it speaking as a third person
kinda on behalf of and the feelings of the calves hope you don't mind interesting story to my way I could do a lot with it

Bill the Old Battler

Neville Briggs
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Re: MARKED FOR LIFE

Post by Neville Briggs » Mon Mar 07, 2011 4:26 pm

I choose the first version Maureen.
It seems more effective to me.. The second one just seems to bounce along with the ballad rhythm which I think perhaps doesn't quite match the severity of the theme.
The first one , I think, is more solemn and brooding to suit the mood and the circumstances. ( I'll probably get shot in flames down now :) )
Last edited by Neville Briggs on Mon Mar 07, 2011 6:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

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Maureen K Clifford
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Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
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Re: MARKED FOR LIFE

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Mon Mar 07, 2011 6:18 pm

Good oh Bill - go for it.

Not by me Neville thank you - it is my favourite of the two as well. :lol:
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

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