The Phantom Foal
Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 1:52 pm
A true story
I’ve knocked around the bush a bit
And I’ve seen my share of strife
Some say that it’s really tough out here
But it’s a peaceful sort of life.
But sometimes things just happen
That could drive you up the pole
But nothing mate was stranger
Than our bloody phantom foal.
We'd put our Dusty to this stud
‘Cause she was right to breed
We had to dig a bloody trench
So he could reach to do the deed.
Well the pregnancy was going great
No problems so it seemed
But that's when things went awire
Worse then you could have dreamed.
Ya see we got this boutique vet
To check Dusty out one day
There wasn't really any problem
Just making sure she was okay.
Well she checked the foal’s position
And said it felt like it was good
In her opinion it was healthy
And sitting just the way it should.
Then she took a sample blood test
And checked for floundering as well
All her checks showed everything was clear
The pregnancy was going swell.
Well this news was really great mate
And though it cost a heap of dough
Cause she charged me like a scrub bull
But it was peace of mind to know.
But three months on the mare went down
It caused us such a fright that day
But this time I rang the local vet
Who said she’d come out straight away.
Well bugger me she takes one look
“ This mare’s not in foal “ I hear her say
But I think she’s got pneumonia
That’s why she’s floundering today.
So then she checks out her internals
And not a bloody foal in sight
But she’s got a faulty ovary
And she’ll need drugs to get that right.
This ovary's producing hormones
That makes a foal look like it’s there
So if you didn't know your stuff
You’d think you had a pregnant mare.
So now we're back to square one
With drugs for the ovary and chill
And she only charged me half as much
As the other bastards bill.
Well that’s it folks no bloody foal
But Dustys starting to look great
And I'm gonna ring that boutique vet
Just to set the record straight.
There is a moral to this story
Yeah I’m sure you’ll all agree
Don’t ever judge how good a vet is
By the bloody bastards fee!!
Bob Pacey ( C )
I’ve knocked around the bush a bit
And I’ve seen my share of strife
Some say that it’s really tough out here
But it’s a peaceful sort of life.
But sometimes things just happen
That could drive you up the pole
But nothing mate was stranger
Than our bloody phantom foal.
We'd put our Dusty to this stud
‘Cause she was right to breed
We had to dig a bloody trench
So he could reach to do the deed.
Well the pregnancy was going great
No problems so it seemed
But that's when things went awire
Worse then you could have dreamed.
Ya see we got this boutique vet
To check Dusty out one day
There wasn't really any problem
Just making sure she was okay.
Well she checked the foal’s position
And said it felt like it was good
In her opinion it was healthy
And sitting just the way it should.
Then she took a sample blood test
And checked for floundering as well
All her checks showed everything was clear
The pregnancy was going swell.
Well this news was really great mate
And though it cost a heap of dough
Cause she charged me like a scrub bull
But it was peace of mind to know.
But three months on the mare went down
It caused us such a fright that day
But this time I rang the local vet
Who said she’d come out straight away.
Well bugger me she takes one look
“ This mare’s not in foal “ I hear her say
But I think she’s got pneumonia
That’s why she’s floundering today.
So then she checks out her internals
And not a bloody foal in sight
But she’s got a faulty ovary
And she’ll need drugs to get that right.
This ovary's producing hormones
That makes a foal look like it’s there
So if you didn't know your stuff
You’d think you had a pregnant mare.
So now we're back to square one
With drugs for the ovary and chill
And she only charged me half as much
As the other bastards bill.
Well that’s it folks no bloody foal
But Dustys starting to look great
And I'm gonna ring that boutique vet
Just to set the record straight.
There is a moral to this story
Yeah I’m sure you’ll all agree
Don’t ever judge how good a vet is
By the bloody bastards fee!!
Bob Pacey ( C )