ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

There has been many a poem written on this subject. One thing that you will find is that if you do not have a good cook the crew will normally threaten revolt.

THE SHEARERS COOK

The shearing shed on " Windmere "
was a rough and rugged run
the shearers were as tough as nails
hard work and not much fun.

Then the cook resigned and turmoil raged
there was anger in the air
so the boss had taken on the job
his cooking only fair.

The complaints were flying thick and fast
yeah trouble was a brewing
" He'll have to get a proper cook "
" He don't know what he's doing."

The boss had finally had enough
he had to have his say
" Well one of you can be the cook "
" We'll all draw straws today ".

When Freddy drew the short straw
the boss laid down the law
" Complain and you take over "
" Now get back to the floor ".

The days went by and Freddy scowled
his cooking foul but fair
surely someone would complain
but nobody would dare.

And though he then spiced up the food
not one murmur did he hear
he under cooked and over cooked
they all ate in silent fear.


" I'll give them food "did Freddy vow
" I'll cook them up a stew "
" with every nasty I can find "
" a proper witches brew ".

He scouted round the woolshed
bugs and beetles did he reap
they all went into Freddys stew
topped up with pebbles from the sheep.

He added chopped up centipede
and a long dead mouse or two
then a bunch of birdseye chillies
just to flavour up the brew.

Some mouldy cheese from out the fridge
with fungus green and thick
the smell was so horrendous
that it made poor Freddy sick.

Then he threw in all the dogs bones
that he found out behind the shed
bits of Kangaroo and Wallaby
and other road kill long since dead.

He stirred it and he simmered it
chucked in a mouldy leather belt
but he wasn't game to taste it
when the spoon started to melt.

He served it up at dinner time
when the brew was piping hot
the smell of curry powder
hid what lingered in the pot.

He waited then with bated breath
"Flaming hell " young Billy cried
"This stew tastes like bloody sheep shit mate "
you've got a flaming hide ! ".

Then Billy realised what he'd done
the job of cook was his to be
he gazed around in fear and shock
he almost buckled at the knee.

He slowly took another spoonful then
and grabbed a chair his stance to steady
"Just like me mother used to make"
"Well done good onya Freddy .

Bob Pacey
( C )

...struth Bob, they musta been proper scared of gettin' the cookin' job hey?
good laugh Bob.
When I was born we lived on a sheep station, (I don't rmember it because we left there when I was only 1!) but Dad told me a story once about how the shearers cook got crook, it was only a couple of days before cutout so Dad got the job. One of the Jackaroos brought in a fresh shot 'roo and Dad butchered it and put it through the mincer, one of the shearers found out they had a 'roo and threatened Dad not to feed him 'roo. Dad went on and made some meat patties and gravy and served them up, the blokes loved them and the bloke who couldn't stand 'roo went back for more, commenting on how good they were, Dad said I thought you didn't like 'roo, the bloke went out and spewed the lot up!

Hi Bob And Ross Reminds me of the time not long after I was married to Maureen and she had three girls 13, 14, 16, years old and fussy little buggers they were anyway, they were out at their friends place when I arrived home and was cutting up a couple of roo hind quarters which the wife put in the freezer and I was just cutting up the last little bits to do as a stew when they came home the queastion was asked what was the bits of meat for which my wife replied we had been given some beef and I said well I will have this for honeyed beef and we did and they enjoyed it a week later when we had friends over for tea they remarked on the roast to which I replied that it was the hind of a roo that I had shot a fortnight age you know I have never heard girls abuse me so much now every bit of meat must have a stamp on it or a label from a butchers shop

Bill the old Battler

Loved it Bob - very good should go over great with an Audience - just to give you some receipe ideas I might put one of my old ones up,

My ex often used to eat goat or roo that he had shot for the dogs but I could never come at it, though the kangaroo meat always looked lean and tender - I am sure there would be far worse things one could eat and look at the price you pay for roo now in the shops and chevron is getting dear as well.

Cheers

Maureen

Very funny read Bob.

Reminds me of a story when I was camping with boyfriend of the time, father and his brother. Dad and uncle liked very hot and spicy food. We took it in turns to cook. Uncle thought he'd be smart and made a curry so hot we could barely eat it.

Revenge is SO sweet. We made a pizza with so much tobasco on it that he was sweating through his eyeballs but he didn't dare say a word about it except how good it was. There's hot, and there's hot.

Heather