Herding chooks

[Neville Briggs]

I can't see anything much that looks like inverted speech out of place. ....Maybe the first line in stanza 7, . could be a bit ambiguous.A semi-colon after around could fix that.

It's a good theme for a fun piece.

You have used what is called anapest metre. da da dum, da da dum etc.
If you read it out loud, are you sure that all lines fit to that rythm.
It would be a pity not to straighten any awkward bits, it could be a good piece.

[Maureen K Clifford]

LOVE IT Marty - those herding genes are great aren't they? My Mahalia is doing the exact same thing through the fence with the neighbours chooks - keeps her occupied for hours

Cheers

Maureen

[Maureen K Clifford]

While you are on a roll Marty you might try LEAPT as well....think it works better The other spelling just leaps out at you

[Heather]

Maureen I wasn't going to say anything about lept!

Marty another excellent and entertaining poem; I really enjoyed it. Sounds like there were hours of amusement watching the dog and the chooks!

Heather

[Bob Pacey]

My labrador herds the chooks as well grabs them by the neck and pulls the feathers out then lets them go.

Nothing that a good swift kick up the you know what did not fix.


Bob

[Glenny Palmer]

Too good to not 'fix' Martyboy. I'm here if you want me.....

[Glenny Palmer]

It's a ripper Martyboy. Great 'word pictures' & we can all identify with that little scoundrel of a dog of yours....maybe not townies, but the rest of us 'true blues' anyway. (I'm for it now from the yuppie brigade!)

You need to email it to me mate. Tooo brain bending to do it via pm. glennypoet at bigpond dot com.

Cheeers
Glenny

[Trace]

Marty,

Barb just bought 3 new chooks, so thats keeping Flossy very occupied.....herding the chooks during the day, and keeping the foxes away at night.

Gotta love dogs...