Here 'tis ... I called it Mexican Walking Fish

[Leonie]

Mexican Walking Fish
Leonie Parker © 2010

I had an axolotl and I called him Axl Rose.
He didn’t swim like other fish. He walked round on his toes.
My friends said he was ugly but I thought that he was sweet.
I reckon they were jealous ‘cause I had a fish with feet.

Dad bought him for my birthday, and my Mum said “What’s it eat?”
I saw her raise her eyebrows when my Dad said “It eats meat”.
She shook her head and then she said “How big will this thing grow?”
You could have heard a pin drop when my dad said “I don’t know”.

My mother said (sarcastically) “So, have I got this right?
This thing is a meat eater, there’s a good chance it will bite
and you have no idea at all how big it’s gonna be.”
Dad, lacking sensitivity, said “Sounds ‘bout right to me.”

This made my mother livid and so she harangued my Dad.
“This bloody thing’s a carnivore, are you completely mad!
They probably just dragged it from a swamp and it’s still wild
and you go out and buy the thing and give it to our child!”

I don’t know how he did it but my Dad got his own way.
That’s how I got an axolotl for my tenth birthday.
Although my Mum gave in she never liked my walking fish.
She reckoned Axl saw our fingers as a tasty dish.

She didn’t need to worry because Axl had no teeth.
What food he could, he swallowed whole, and hid the rest beneath
the rocks and plants inside his tank. He hid some bits so well
we didn’t know he’d done it til his tank began to smell.

Axl grew like crazy and he soon outgrew his tank.
Mum went to the river and she chucked him off the bank.
When I got home from school and looked for him, she told a lie.
She told me he had run away and that I shouldn’t cry.

Axl’s out there, swimming free, that’s what my mother said.
I think she half believes it though she wishes he were dead
because I think she worries every time we get some rain
that Axl (grown to 20 feet) might slither out the drain.

[Stephen Whiteside]

Very interesting. Yes, there are specimens that grow to twenty feet, aren't there. There's also a famous instance of a giant salamander fossil that was mistaken for a human - though it's hard to understand why.

[Maureen K Clifford]

Remember this from the old site and thought it hilarious then especially with the old Bremer at our doorstep. Yet another flood hazard

Love it Leonie - enough to give kids nightmares.

Though you must have gone walkabout

Cheers

Maureen

[Heather]

I remember this one too Leonie. Lots of fun!

Heather

[Bob Pacey]

You seem to have a good style of writing poems that would make a great set for kids Leonie.

Do you have any kids books ??? if not you really should.



Great story and I read it right through does that mean there is still a little kid inside ??

Bob

[warooa]

I agree with the Bobbit, Leonie - you'd put together a great book of kids poems.

Cheers, Marty

[Zondrae]

G'day Leonie,

Great to see you posting something to give us all a laugh.

I am fascinated with both Axolotl and mud skippers. I saw a lot of the latter at Keppel Sands when we were there. Amazing things, they are. They can breath in both air and water. Mind you I think an Axolotl would make a boring pet. They just sit (?lie) there. I have been given five little (and I mean tiny) fish. A new addition to the household. I have been told they are called 'White Clouds'. Why this is so, confuses me. They are kind of dark grey with thin fluorescent stripes that look red/green/turquoise at different angles. They are also very skinny, not cloud-like at all. They live in the cast off glass from a front loader washing machine.

[Leonie]

They're not as boring as you might think Zondrae. When a visitor, who has been told not to put his finger in the tank, does so anyway and the apparently somnolent axolotl moves with the speed of light and attaches to the visitor's finger it can be amusing.

Thanks for the book suggestion Bob and Marty, I might give that some thought.

Yes Stephen, I'm sure they have been known to grow to 20 feet, maybe even more. I think I saw one once in the Bremer River. Actually I saw more than one. I think they're breeding.

Thanks Heather and Maureen. I haven't been on walkabout, just unable to drag myself away from another site I am a member of. Nothing to do with poetry, it's actually a purebreed dog forum, but in 'off topic' one of the regulars just came out and told us what she 'really' does for a living. The thread was like a train wreck, you knew it was going to crash but some of us managed to get the address of her blog before the thread was nuked. The blog gives us a blow by blow description of her 'clients' and the services she offers to them. It's popcorn and coffee splurk entertainment. Gotta go. Now where's the popcorn again.

[Kym]

I've always enjoyed this poem Leonie and I think your wicked sense of humour is brilliant.

If they attack people's fingers, and if they are breeding in the river, I hope no-one goes swimming there.

Hey, I'll be down to annoy you next weekend!!! Can you take me down to the river so we can go axoloyl spotting? That'd be fun ...