Marty and the Arty Farty

[Stephen Whiteside]

Marty and the Arty Farty

Stephen Whiteside 13.10.2011

Marty wants another poem.
Thing is, when you get to know 'em,
All these forum folk are beaut.
The men are tough, the ladies cute;

So, it seems, we spend our time
Typing chat instead of rhyme;
Shooting breezes, on a spree,
Instead of writing poetry.

Then, it seems, when rhymes are writ
Far too much of it is of an unacceptable standard -
Sissy, flouncy, arty-farty,
Not the stuff to please poor Marty.

Silently, he's suffered long.
Now he talks. His voice is strong.
Things have slid from bad to worse.
Time for ridgy-didg BUSH VERSE!

After all, what is this site?
We need bush verse to make it right.
Visitors will be confused
If too much prissy stuff's infused.

It's time for VERSE! It's time for BUSH!
Give the fancy stuff a push!
Marty, I have heard you speak...
So come and kiss me on the cheek!

[Kym]

[Heather]

Love it!

[warooa]

Sorry . . . I just found this one and had a chuckle and couldn't help but reply but them early monsoon storms are brewing and getting nearer so I gotta go - maybe we could have some fun with this collaborativelly

Marty (the genteeel one )

Doctor Whiteside - the Toorak greeny
met Marty Boyce, the "man boob" meanie.
The Doc, he hailed from the leafy burbs
grew tofu beans and eastern herbs.
Whilst big, bad Boyce wore crows feet squinty,
upon head resembling chewed-up mintie.

Whiteside - armed with scalpel and latte
yelled "Long may live the Artay Fartay"
Boyce he hollered, loud and good
but no one really understood
His face, it twitched, his mouth . . it frothed
As Whiteside yelled "Yoth hath dou dothed!"

"You may have cattle there to fatten . .
but Boyce - you can't speak Box Hill latin"
Boyce from his buggy, 'cross his horse
he lunged at Whiteside with such force
But the Doc just sipped his latte - soy

[manfredvijars]

Oi MARTY, kiss Stephen's 'cheek' ... => (__!__) .....

[Zondrae]

Marty,

The first three stanzas are pretty close, but then you have let the metre slip rather badly.
If you wanted to use this poem for any type of competition you will have to do some serious re writing.(in MHO that is)

[Neville Briggs]

I read it carefully Zondrae. I thought that the metre was quite good. If Marty chose to delete the word "but" in the first line of stanza 3, and in the last line of stanza 4 took out "off which" and substituted a one syllable word like "where", then I think that all the re-writing that would be needed to get the metre going well.

[Maureen K Clifford]

"You may have cattle there to fatten . .
but Boyce - you can't speak Box Hill latin"
Boyce from his buggy, 'cross his horse
he lunged at Whiteside with such force
But the Doc just sipped his latte - soy
and ate his noodles with Bok Choy
quite unperturbed by Marty's frothin'
Is Doc an arty farty boffin?

[Stephen Whiteside]

I don't mind receiving flak
As symbol of elite Toorak,
But what's this mention of Box Hill?
It doesn't really fit the bill.

Think South Yarra, think Hawthorn;
Home range of the wealthy born.
Think of Windsor. Think Prahran.
Box Hill is an also-ran.

Think of Malvern. Think Glen Iris.
Folk of homes there are desirous.
It may be a bitter pill,
But nothing special's in Box Hill.

Middle Park is rather grand.
Brighton, too, has pricey land.
Kew is handsome. So is Balwyn.
Box Hill? Well, we cannot all win.

I've woken from my midday nap.
My corgi's head is on my lap.
That poem almost made me spill
My sherry, mentioning Box Hill!

[Zondrae]

Afternoon all,

Neville, I was trying to be funny - that is commenting on the form rather than the content. As usual - I don't appear to do 'funny' very well.