Growing Old With Grace

[Heather]

Thanks Ross. You haven't been around much lately. Are things slowing down for you now with Christmas around the corner?

Thank you Neville. I have learnt a lot in a year.

This one took me a while to finish because there are not many words to rhyme with performed (warmed, swarmed, stormed) and it is my understanding that informed is actually not a rhyme with performed because the stressed syllables are the same "formed". If someone knows for sure I would appreciate your advice. You know when you are determined to use a particular word or line and you just have to make it work? In the end I cheated but figured it was not a competition piece - but still it galled me that I had to do it.

Heather

[Hully]

great poem - comments on rhyme or metre totally superflous

Merry Christmas Heather.

h

[Heather]

Thanks Hully, I appreciate you commenting.

Heather

[Bellobazza]

G'day Heather...
Firstly, I enjoyed the poem for its take on the ageing process, but it would be much more convincing coming from someone who is NOT a mere whippersnapper.
Secondly, I would echo Neville's compliments on structure and technique. Your hunger to learn these skills is certainly paying dividends.
But, this comment has me stumped...

"it is my understanding that informed is actually not a rhyme with performed because the stressed syllables are the same "formed". "

Is there a typo in there? Did you mean they ARE a rhyme? Because, as far as I know, the test for a rhyme where one or both words are polysyllabic is that the stress DOES fall on the last syllable. As far as I'm concerned, this is the case with these two words that you have highlighted. If, for example, the words used were "malformed" (stress on the first syllable) and "performed" (stress on the last), this would be a "wrenched rhyme", but I really can't see any problem with the words you've used.

Cheers, Will.

[Heather]

Will, you just put yourself at the top of my Christmas list (Marty not far behind!)

Will, I might be wrong (probably are, 'cause you are so much older and wiser than I ) but something I read suggested that the consonant had to be different. Because if you take away per (formed) and in (formed) the stress falls on formed in both cases and they are actually the same word/sound with the same consonant (f).

Heather

[Dave Smith]

Hi All is there a problem rhyming a word with itself?

Dave.

[Heather]

It's not a rhyme then Dave, it's the same word. Who would ever thought that rhymes could be such tricky little critters? Haven't we all learnt something new this year Dave?

Heather

[Zondrae]

Evening Dave

using a word as a rhyme with itself is a big no-no.

Also, Heather, have you come across the 'soft' ending of a line dilemma yet? That is... you should steer away from ending with 'ing' (and other soft syllable endings). Someone should make a list of all these rules. Or just a list of the 'soft' endings to be avoided would be a start.

Also, this is an aside, A judge noted on a poem of mine that Beronia and Banksia do not rhyme. It was an early piece and I didn't understand anything about rhyming then.( Don't know very much more now, really.) I thought, that if the last syllable rhymed, it was OK Therefore Beron-ia and Banks-ia should be right.. Not!

[Heather]

This one I wrote earlier this year Zondrae. I didn't know the rules then - intuition led me on this one.

I Could Have Done Without It

As I awoke I knew quite quickly,
That I was feeling rather sickly;
My nose is blocked and feeling stuffy,
My throat is sore and sounding gruffy.

And as I’m coming round to waking,
It’s pretty clear my joints are aching;
I contemplate the day with dreading,
I think I’ll stay beneath my bedding.

©Heather Knight 11 March 2010

[Bob Pacey]

Oh Heather must have missed this one. I reckon they should ban makeup all together. i have seen some who cake it on so thick you would need a spatula to scrape it off.


keep it natural
Keep it sweet
You know it's gonna
Knock me off my feet.


Bob in the sock draw still looking.