Thank you David. I am in the mids't of polishing.
Sue
The Lonely Widow
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mummsie
- Posts: 1062
- Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 11:33 am
- Location: Tumut, NSW
Re: The Lonely Widow
the door is always open, the kettles always on, my shoulders here to cry on, i'll not judge who's right or wrong.
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Rimeriter
Re: The Lonely Widow
"G'day", Sue.
Once again this year, I am invited to read our 'sorta stuff' at a Valentines Day venue.
Whilst there is plenty of blokey stuff about, including some of mine, I have a request.
My usual 'female' piece is Women of the West.
Please, would you consider allowing me to read this item ?
Naturally proper credit will be accorded both verbally and within the written handouts.
Jim.
Once again this year, I am invited to read our 'sorta stuff' at a Valentines Day venue.
Whilst there is plenty of blokey stuff about, including some of mine, I have a request.
My usual 'female' piece is Women of the West.
Please, would you consider allowing me to read this item ?
Naturally proper credit will be accorded both verbally and within the written handouts.
Jim.
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r.magnay
- Posts: 1405
- Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 1:41 pm
- Location: Port Lincoln SA
Re: The Lonely Widow
....'morning Sue,
It has taken awhile for me to get around to reading this one but I am glad I did, as other members have commented it is a very good poem, the only thing that bothered me a little is the 'whirring windmill', a mindmill whirring suggests that it is blowing a gale which doesn't fit with the rest of the theme to me, just a thought but maybe 'stirring' would be a more subtle description of the windmill turning sedately.
It has taken awhile for me to get around to reading this one but I am glad I did, as other members have commented it is a very good poem, the only thing that bothered me a little is the 'whirring windmill', a mindmill whirring suggests that it is blowing a gale which doesn't fit with the rest of the theme to me, just a thought but maybe 'stirring' would be a more subtle description of the windmill turning sedately.
Ross
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mummsie
- Posts: 1062
- Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 11:33 am
- Location: Tumut, NSW
Re: The Lonely Widow
Thank you Jim. I have PM'd you.
I'm glad you like the poem Ross. I don't necessarily see ''whirring'' as a fast sound, more as something turning. Another word I looked as was "churning".
I will perhaps look at that a little more when I sort out where I'm going wrong with the stresses.
So much to learn.
Cheers
Sue
I'm glad you like the poem Ross. I don't necessarily see ''whirring'' as a fast sound, more as something turning. Another word I looked as was "churning".
I will perhaps look at that a little more when I sort out where I'm going wrong with the stresses.
So much to learn.Cheers
Sue
the door is always open, the kettles always on, my shoulders here to cry on, i'll not judge who's right or wrong.
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Rimeriter
Re: The Lonely Widow
Sue, my reading of 'The Lonely Widow' yesterday as a segment of a ValDay commemoration received a VERY positive reception.
Not so much due to my eloquence, because I am not sure I performed as well as I have done at other times.
So, in conversation over a cuppa I learned, the audience was taken by your word pictures along with the 'sense' of being.
"onya"
Jim.
Not so much due to my eloquence, because I am not sure I performed as well as I have done at other times.
So, in conversation over a cuppa I learned, the audience was taken by your word pictures along with the 'sense' of being.
"onya"
Jim.
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mummsie
- Posts: 1062
- Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 11:33 am
- Location: Tumut, NSW
Re: The Lonely Widow
Good on'ya Jim.
Glad it all went well.
It's a good feeling when a few words you put on paper can mean something to others. I will have to try and find the time to finish my 'polish', work commitments are not allowing that at the moment
Cheers
Sue
Glad it all went well.
It's a good feeling when a few words you put on paper can mean something to others. I will have to try and find the time to finish my 'polish', work commitments are not allowing that at the moment
Cheers
Sue
the door is always open, the kettles always on, my shoulders here to cry on, i'll not judge who's right or wrong.
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worddancer
- Posts: 161
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:07 am
- Location: Yankalilla, South Australia
- Contact:
Re: The Lonely Widow
Hi Mummsie,
Really felt the emotions that ooze out from between your words.
You write of true friendship and love.
Physical bodies finalise their existence, but the people we know stick around with the memories shared.
Thank you for sharing
Eliza
Really felt the emotions that ooze out from between your words.
You write of true friendship and love.
Physical bodies finalise their existence, but the people we know stick around with the memories shared.
Thank you for sharing
Eliza
It's never to late; just do it
I'll set pen to paper
Write now, not later
And post it so others may view it
Word dancer is happy
I'll set pen to paper
Write now, not later
And post it so others may view it
Word dancer is happy