What's in a name ??

[Maureen K Clifford]

I used two words in this one I made up and thought they worked rather well but nobody else picked them. They weren't typing or spelling errors either


Those days are long gone but I often recall
that bloke far too pale to be Midnight.
I valued a friendship that stood staunch and strong
through the outblack shadows to daywhite.

[Zondrae]

OK lets give it a try,

what are the criteria again?
emotion - yep I've got plenty of that
linguistic encryption mmmmm I'll have to think about that one
a poem that needs to be unpacked? from where?

I was of the impression that we poets always use lingu..... what they said.

The line I referred to earlier in tis thread was
"I can taste the crimson juice of life" is that enough encryption? Must I explain?

The next bit goes... I looked at this and thought 'where is the rhyme' and I realised I had taken two lines from two stanzas. So I edited and made a space and added two more lines.

'I can taste the crimson juice of life that oozes from my mouth
and I fear I will not make it out alive.

Am I never more to hear my children beging me to play
and never more to feel their warm embrace.
Will I sing not one more birthday song or sooth them in the night
and feel their cherished kisses on my face.'

and so on. It that emotion? because it has rhyme and metre, is it a lesser work?.. I don't think so. but then I don't have an arts degree.

[Vic Jefferies]

Zondrae, that is a fine example of the sort of writing that Neville was trying to encourage!
If you had of written " I can taste my blood in my mouth....." it would then have been the sort of thing Neville is trying to discourage.
I think Jim was referring to the obscure, almost opaque free verse ramblings that mean little to anyone (and I sometimes wonder if the author understands or knows either.)
Ballads are perhaps the oldest form of poetry and there is absolutely no reason why a well written ballad or narrative poem cannot be great poetry and many such poems are, but then let's not kid ourselves, we are not striving for great poetry here in the ABPA anymore than the country and western musicians are aiming to create opera. Ours is the poetry of the people much like folk and country and western music is the music of the people.

Vic

[Vic Jefferies]

Spot on Marty! Could not agree more! Learn the basics and enjoy yourself. Go for it get it down and most times it will sort itself out.

Vic

[Heather]

I agree with you Marty. Write for yourself and for your own enjoyment and satisfaction. I have never written for a competition and never will. If I have a poem written and I think it suits a particular competition then I might send it in.

I write for me. Sometimes it's just a bit of fun and probably not a "good" poem as such - but if I have fun writing it that's all that really matters. Other times it is a more thoughtful poem and might take weeks or months to complete because there is a mental challenge in making it the best poem I can make it - and that is for me too. My poems mean something to me and if anyone else likes them that is a bonus.

Heather

[Robyn]

Spot on Heather.
I don't write for competitions, but I want my poems to be the best they can be. That's where I get the satisfaction.
Robyn

[Neville Briggs]

too much thought on the subject is actually harmful

I'll have to be in disagreement with you on that Marty. We need to do a lot of thinking.
If you mean, too much thinking about how to fit into rules and criteria, then I am in agreement with you there.
And I agree , if you mean, you don't need the perfect metre or rhyme or technical structure. But I think that you DO NEED the perfect word or the perfect phrase, which is one that fits what you are trying to write.

Consider John O'Brien's phrases. The phrases he used in Said Hanrahan are short and direct, very different from the lyrical phrases he used in The Old Bush School when he talked about the young girl that he had admired.

That's what I am talking about. The best words in the best order for the mood and feeling of the poem. Not just a word or phrase chosen because it has the right rhyme or number of syllables and has a dictionary meaning close enough to pass on the general idea.

And what do people remember about the classic bush poems ? A word or a phrase usually. Just about anyone knows the first line of The Man from Snowy River, or Said Hanrahan or My Country ( usually the second stanza ), because they are memorable words and phrases carefully chosen for impact. Not necessarily fancy or obscure or " academic" words..
THINK ON THESE THINGS, BUSH POETS.

Zondrae, your poem about the trapped miner is excellent. You don't need to compare it with anything, it stands on its own merit, no problem.

I agree with Heather and Robyn. I think writing specifically for competitions tends to limit creativity. I guess there are exceptions, there always will be.

[manfredvijars]

I reckon at times these discussions show up the fact that too much thought on the subject is actually harmful. By all means look to create your opus , but dont let the pursuit of the perfect line, stanza or poem overtake all other creativity.

Well said Marty ... I agree ...

[Vic Jefferies]

Glad to see you getting into Ogilvie Marty and A Saddle For A Throne is a great starting point. The story goes that RM Williams was Ogilvie's biggest fan and when he became wealthy he decided that there should be a collection of Ogilvie's poems printed in order that the poet should receive the wider recognition that RM thought he deserved. Williams arrived in London jumped in a cab and asked the driver to take him to Ogilvie's address which just happened to be in Scotland! RM spent some time with Will there and convinced him to allow him (RMW) to publish his poetry. Interestingly Ogilvie did not think his own poetry to be remarkably good!

Fair Girls and Grey Horses is another of Will Ogilvie's books that I highly recommend.

Vic

[Heather]

You mean like "whence" and "bourne" Neville?