Homework w/e 16.7.12 'What on Earth?'

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jakkimay
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Homework w/e 16.7.12 'What on Earth?'

Post by jakkimay » Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:10 pm

‘What On Earth?’

Things are getting desperate for the average Aussie and his mate.
The pollies now in power creating such a dreadful state
of angst and sleepless nights, and constant worry every day
about the rise of goods and chattels. Will they last until next pay?

Oh woe to all Australians with idiots at the helm!
The rising cost of daily living sure set to overwhelm.
With costs increasing daily, electricity through the roof,
we need leaders with guts and courage. Do we need further proof?

The rising tide of worry on all, especially the old
who simply can’t afford the power to keep from getting cold.
While some maybe considered lucky; they have four legged pets
to keep them warm through winter, saving money to pay their debts.

Balancing the family budget gets much harder every day.
Maybe tightening the belt another notch may help to pay
the ever increasing bills that never, ever seem to stop.
Any wonder there are some who off the perch they want to drop!

The boats, they just keep coming; there are no solutions in sight.
What’s to become of them as they continue their dreadful plight?
The government says they should be housed in someone’s vacant room.
I never thought that one day I couldn’t call my house a home.

I don’t know where our country’s headed. How much worse can it get?
Will these pollies see another term? I wouldn’t like to bet.
But until the tide has turned or perhaps there’s been a coup
we’ll just have to be content to add more water to the soup.

© Jakki May 14.7.12
'Friendship is love without His wings!'

Neville Briggs
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Re: Homework w/e 16.7.12 'What on Earth?'

Post by Neville Briggs » Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:30 pm

We'll all be rooned said Jakkimay :)

Um just one small technicality Jakki, coup is a French word pronounced..coo. You could always claim it as a sight rhyme :roll: ;)
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

vwalla
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Re: Homework w/e 16.7.12 'What on Earth?'

Post by vwalla » Sat Jul 14, 2012 4:22 pm

You may think it is bad here but can you imagine what it is like where they escaped from for a better life!!
Count your blessings while you may??!!
Val W

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: Homework w/e 16.7.12 'What on Earth?'

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Sat Jul 14, 2012 6:21 pm

Good on you Val - change the soup to stew mate and she'll be right :lol: :lol: :lol:

Those with 4 legged mates might save a bit on the keeping warm but depending on the size of the 4 legged ones they can cost you a mint in feed not to mention the vet bills - but it doesn't matter - love has no price.

Cheers

Maureen
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Rimeriter

Re: Homework w/e 16.7.12 'What on Earth?'

Post by Rimeriter » Sun Jul 15, 2012 4:34 pm

" 'onya " Jackie.

You have my understanding.
Jim.

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jakkimay
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Re: Homework w/e 16.7.12 'What on Earth?'

Post by jakkimay » Mon Jul 16, 2012 8:45 am

Thanks guys. I wrote it 'tongue in cheek'. I wouldn't want to live anywhere in the world. Thanks Neville; I did know that 'coup' is a French word, but I couldn't find a rhyme, so I cheated a little. :? 'Stew' works much better, thanks Maureen.

Cheers
Jakki
'Friendship is love without His wings!'

Neville Briggs
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Re: Homework w/e 16.7.12 'What on Earth?'

Post by Neville Briggs » Mon Jul 16, 2012 3:37 pm

Actually Jackie, coup rhymed with soup isn't "wrong" , It is just being a bit flexible and in my book, it should remain as is.

I'm afraid I disagree about stew, I think that the last line should remain as you wrote it, I think it just wouldn't have the same impact with stew.

I believe that we should not change a word just for the rhyme if a supposed " bad " rhyme gives a better word. I would go for the better word. If you really want a perfect rhyme then I would suggest looking at replacing the phrase that contains coup.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: Homework w/e 16.7.12 'What on Earth?'

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Mon Jul 16, 2012 6:38 pm

How about this then Neville :lol: :lol: :lol:


I don’t know where our country’s headed. How much worse can it get?
Will these pollies see another term? I wouldn’t like to bet.
But until the tide has turned and all the crooked pollies scamper
we’ll have to be content with jam and do without the damper.


Sorry Jacki :oops: just kidding around.
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Neville Briggs
Posts: 6946
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:08 pm
Location: Here

Re: Homework w/e 16.7.12 'What on Earth?'

Post by Neville Briggs » Tue Jul 17, 2012 9:06 am

Weeeell Maureen. :roll: :lol:
Hey, another cup of water in the soup was the wording of the homework prompts..remember. ;) :mrgreen:

I heard a story about the American poet Elizabeth Bishop, how she used to pin her poems on the wall and they would remain there as she looked at them from day to day even for weeks and months until she found just the right word in any undecided place. Her poetry is superb.
Last edited by Neville Briggs on Tue Jul 17, 2012 1:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

Rimeriter

Re: Homework w/e 16.7.12 'What on Earth?'

Post by Rimeriter » Tue Jul 17, 2012 12:16 pm

We certainly should benefit from Elizabeth's example.

Many times we are told -

Polish for Perfection.

Jim.

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