The Ozzy Alfabett
© Stephen Whiteside 21.11.2012
"A" is for 'avrij', as in 'avrij bloke'.
"B" is for 'bewdy' (well that's how it's spoak).
"C" is for 'carna', as in 'Carna pize!'
"D"'s for a 'dronggo' wots cuvverd in flyz.
"E" is for 'effin'. You here it a lot.
"F" is for 'friggin'. (There's wurs, is ther not?)
"G" is for "Gawd!", or sumtimes "Gawstruth!"
"H" is for "Heba Sheeba Hooly Dooly, Ive got a saw toothe!"
"I" is for 'ijit' - a bloak hooz abserd.
"J" is for 'Jesus', a very rood wurd.
"K" is for 'kooky' and 'krummy' and 'krap'.
"L" is for 'lookatthatdrivelingsap'.
"M" is for 'mate'. It's a reely sik wurd.
"N" is for 'noggin'. (Its emtee, I've hurd.)
"O" is for 'austrich', a burd in a tree.
"P" is for "P-nut'. (Im told that is mee.)
"Q"'s for a critta wots nown as a 'qokka'.
"R" is for 'Normie' - a kool ozzie rokka.
"S" is for 'sheela'. (Id like to no wun!)
"T" is for 'turnitupmate. Pultheotherwun!'
"U" is for 'Up yorz!'. (Yell back "How far?")
"V" is for 'Valyant' (thats me mates kar).
"W"'s for 'wikid' and also for 'wimp'.
"X" is for...kant think of anythink rite now.
"Y" is for "Yubludydrongodoc, Gettalyfwydoncha!"
"Z" is for 'zap' as a mozzy gets fride.
Im orl out of letas, wiv too lines to go.
I dont think Iv got eny mor that I no.
The Ozzy Alfabett
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Stephen Whiteside
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The Ozzy Alfabett
Last edited by Stephen Whiteside on Wed Nov 21, 2012 6:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Stephen Whiteside, Australian Poet and Writer
http://www.stephenwhiteside.com.au
http://www.stephenwhiteside.com.au
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Heather
Re: The Ozzy Alfabett
There's that austrich again! He's gonna have to have a name soon.. 
Stephen this was supposed to be tomorrow's poem - how on earth are you going to get better than this one? I needed a good laugh - thanks.
Heather
Stephen this was supposed to be tomorrow's poem - how on earth are you going to get better than this one? I needed a good laugh - thanks. Heather
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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: The Ozzy Alfabett
Whatever it is you're taking Stephen I want some. Please advise
ROTFLMAO - Laughter is the best medicine so they say
ROTFLMAO - Laughter is the best medicine so they say
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
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David Campbell
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Re: The Ozzy Alfabett
Holyfrigginmolywottaflaminrippabloodypome...carna Pize!
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Stephen Whiteside
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Re: The Ozzy Alfabett
Thancs, orl. Didnoihaditinme.
Last edited by Stephen Whiteside on Wed Nov 21, 2012 12:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Stephen Whiteside, Australian Poet and Writer
http://www.stephenwhiteside.com.au
http://www.stephenwhiteside.com.au
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Heather
Re: The Ozzy Alfabett
The world would be a much duller place without you Stephen (& you too David) 
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Stephen Whiteside
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Re: The Ozzy Alfabett
I'm touched, Heather.
Stephen Whiteside, Australian Poet and Writer
http://www.stephenwhiteside.com.au
http://www.stephenwhiteside.com.au
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Neville Briggs
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