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[Kym]

Well, actually, Heather (or should I say Hurple), good news there! Since I've lost 12kg in the last 2 months, my knee doesn't even bother me any more!!! Bring on that mountain of yours. I thought the doc was just being rude when he said "in a perfect world, you'd lose a stack of weight, fast, and your knee would enjoy the experience". See I can even remember his speech word for word, cos it was so painful to hear. But he was right, and my knee is happy, happy, happy! Fan-bloody-tastic I reckon ...

[Heather]

So, will it fix my knees too?

[Heather]

Well, you jest git yourself on back here girlie and we'll go watch that sunset from my wee hill. Or, maybe I'll go take a piccie for you for now....

[Stephen Whiteside]

Yes, I've never met you either, Kym, but I do wish you all the very best.

[Kym]

Heather, you don't have any weight to lose like old chubba-wubba hippsandbottomus here! You skinny stick insect you, you graceful gazelle you ...

Thanks Stephen.

[Glenny Palmer]

Knees up mother Eitel
knees up mother Eitel
cancer? pssh! don't stand a chance
cos God & Kymmie's fight'll
see it bugger off
cos Kymmie's 'ad eenoff
and she's got dancing yet to do
and lots of mates on site who'll........cheeer you on bonny lass!!

With lotsalove, (if not wordsmithing prowess... )
Glenny

[r.magnay]

Hey Kym, with your attitude cancer doesn't stand a chance! A couple of years ago I went to a mates 60th birthday, one of my old mates was there and he had not long started treatment for cancer, he said "Cancer! bloody Cancer! that's a walk in the park, I told all them people that were feeling sorry for themselves they want to try a stint in the family law courts if they want pain! at least everyone's on your side in the cancer ward!"...he's still going...

[Kym]

That's what I want Glenny - fun, laughter, dancing!!! That's why I tried to write a funny/happy/silly poem, so you'd all know I'm ok. I don't want sympathy, I want happiness, positive attitude things - I feel like dancing around the office after reading your little song. Thanks so much for that.

And Ross, your friend's exactly right. When they first told me I had cancer in 2004, they said I'd have to slow down to deal with it. I said nuh-uh, I had things to do, and the cancer would just have to come with me. If it couldn't keep up, it could just bugger off!

There are a lot of funny things that come from having cancer, that I wouldn't have heard/seen/experienced otherwise. When I was working as a teacher aide at a small country school, I wore a material scarf over my head, always bright colours and pretty pictures. One little boy, with his finger jammed firmly up one nostril asked me why I had butterflies (on my scarf) instead of hair? I told him that I'd been sick and that I'd lost my hair. Well, kids take things very literally, and he thought about me losing my hair for a while, still trying to wind his finger in even deeper. Eventually, he said "you know, if you clean up your room, you might find it". Oh I had to laugh ... He saw me a couple of weeks later at a function in town and I was wearing my wig, so I didn't scare the grownups. He shouted, for the entire crowd to hear across the foyer, "YAY MRS EITEL! YOU FOUND YOUR HAIR!!!".

And I'll tell you another funny thing about the cancer this time around. The tumour is growing in the lymph nodes in the centre of my chest, between my spine and heart. It is growing against/around the nerve which leads to the vocal chord and has now paralyzed my left vocal chord. OK, all that wasn't funny, but just wait, the funny bit is coming ... this has resulted in me having a Mickey Mouse or Tickle Me Elmo voice! I can only squeak! Talk about sounding stoopid!!! Can't yell at the dogs to come back. Can't yell at the grandson to stop whatever naughty thing he's doing. People can't hear/understand me in shops. Can't yell at the husband ... but there's always sign language ...

If anyone knows some poems that involve a muppet voice, can you please send them to me, cos I certainly can't perform anything else at the moment.

OK, I'm talking/typing too much, so I'll shut up now. Sorry ...

[Maureen K Clifford]

THE NEW SQUEEK


She opened up her mouth to speak and all that came out was a squeak
she blushed bright red and felt a dill and people stared as people will
but one young bloke of around eight just laughed and said your voice sounds great
you sound like Mickey Mouse to me because you know – he talks funny.

Well that fact appealed to our girl who thought she might just give a whirl
to her voice – reading poetry in character so kids could see
that Cancer, though it is a pain can sometimes make you sound insane.
Next year at Halloween perhaps she’ll join those ghouls and ghosty chaps.

The dogs enjoying some respite not that she shouts at him a lot
and he loves her regardless of her voice so doesn’t give a jot.
Her grandson thinks it is a game and grandma now is being silly
and hubby well he worries but sympathy makes her somewhat chilly.

She opened up her mouth to say I’ve got cancer but it’s OK
my head is like a bowling ball with no skerrick of hair at all
some days I’m up some day’s I’m down, some days I feel a bloody clown
but will I just give up and drown – no way will this black duck back down.

I’ll wear a scarf upon my head, or chose a wig in flaming red
and flaunt it all around the place with a big grin upon my face.
I’ve fought this fight you know before quite frankly it’s a bloody bore
but give up, peg out or give in – no way said squeaky with a grin.

[Kym]

BAHAHAHA Maureen!!! Bravo! Excellent! I love it! I look great in that getup ... now I've gotta get on ebay and get me a wig like that!!!