Finding A Way

[Stephen Whiteside]

Finding A Way

It doesn't stand up in the way it once did,
Not since my prostate was snatched
It doesn't do all of the things it is bid,
And few of my plans can be hatched.

There's a spark in the mind and a glint in the eye,
The first parts of such an equation,
But where once electrons down neurons would fly,
Something gets lost in translation.

I've had a few women who did all they could
To turn me from flaccid to hard,
But things never finished the way that they should,
Which left me frustrated and scarred.

Now all this has changed. I have met me a girl
Who has taken the problem in hand.
Where once all was grey, I am in a great whirl.
I tell you, me laddies, life's grand!

She took me along to her doctor one day,
Explained how the tablets had failed,
And soon in a pleasant, professional way
The perfect solution was nailed.

She now takes the cartridge from out of its box,
And unsheathes the needle so fine
(I rest my gaze on her soft, flowing locks,
While a sweet shiver runs down my spine);

She presses the needle point, gentle but firm,
And empties the contents within.
I lie quite still - 'twould be folly to squirm -
And we let the reaction begin.

It happens as magic. It doesn't take long.
The smiles on our faces are broad.
Soon I feel happy and manly and strong,
And our love-making's sweet, praise the Lord!

So I say, all you blokes, who have battled like me,
And seen, over time, your dreams fall,
And all of you sheilas in deep misery,
There's plenty of hope after all...


© Stephen Whiteside 17.03.2013

[Heather]

I'm speechless (for once) but laughing my head off Stephen. Just like a fairy tale . ....

Heather

[Stephen Whiteside]

It wasn't supposed to be funny, Heather!

[warooa]

a fairy-tale? That's a bit hard on the good Doctor

[Stephen Whiteside]

Yes, that's what I reckon! Thanks, Marty!

[Heather]

It's funny Stephen, seriously! All fairy tales have a happy ending Marty.

Heather

[Stephen Whiteside]

Hmmm...!

[Bob Pacey]

What was in the needle Steve ? Botox ?


And what's a flaccid ?


and where do you put the needle ?


and can you buy it over the counter ?


Just asking cause I'm interested that sort of stuff and as Heather will tell you I'm a sticky beak >


Bob

[Stephen Whiteside]

You need a script, Bob. There are a couple of products on the market. Talk to your doctor.

As I understand it, the needle is inserted at either side, roughly mid length. There's a large vein that runs along the top, in the mid line. You don't want to hit that. And along the bottom runs the urethra, for urine and semen - again in the mid line - and you don't want to hit that either.

I'm not an expert, though. If I was prescribing it, I'd need to refer back to the product information, and I haven't done that for a while.

[Stephen Whiteside]

Flaccid is a fancy word for loose or floppy.