An Anzac Reflection

[Gary Harding]

With Rememberance Day on 11th November, here is a respectful and timely attempt at acknowledging the other sad casualties of war. Relatives.
Importantly it is meant to be read slowly and deliberately. The piece lacks cadence in order to set a reflective mood. The metre is correct.

The sentiments of the verse may hopefully compensate for its shortcomings.

An Anzac Reflection

Dawn in the bush and the sunrise golden.
A lonely girl by the farm-gate stands.
Lost in a dream of her soldier husband,
Camping away in far distant lands.

Sometimes she'll sit by the open window,
Or gaze at length at the old white gum
That marks the crest of the rutted driveway,
Crowning the path where she hopes he'll come.

His shirt and breeches are kept well folded,
Beside the hat that he loved to wear.
His boots are polished and polished over.
And his saddle too with loving care.

Now is his sleep in the Lone Pine gully.
Gone are the bugles of reveille.
Never to charge at the sharp-rapped order,
Or join his mates on a tipsy spree.

Is there more glory in tears or bloodshed.
The question has not been answered yet.
Is the role of men to do their duty.
The pain of women to wait and fret.

So much is said of the hero soldier.
Who is to say if it's right or wrong.
Who is to tell of the wives and sweethearts,
By firesides suffering hard and long.

— Deep in the bush where the ranges tower,
A ghostly girl can be seen to stand.
Waiting in vain for her soldier husband,
Resting at peace in a foreign land.

by Gary Harding

[william williams]

not bad Gary not bad at all

bill Williams the old battler

[Gary Harding]

Thanks for that Bill ! ... as a newbie I believe I am already improving my style and rhyme! .. and appreciate learning from the many fine poetic examples I read here.

I feel that this concise poem, An Anzac Reflection, is unusual in that the metre is technically correct but the normal bush cadence is absent. It is partially halting (which is normally a fault I suggest) but in this case it accentuates the message by slowing the reader down. The wording might need polish in places.

Some lines flow into each other. Some are meant to boldly stand alone.

For a wistful poem addressing a sensitive subject (like "A Bunch of Roses" by ABP) it cannot be a rollicking ballad obviously.
I considered that it mustn't overreach itself with flowery language and metaphors. Keep it simple and to the point is best?

So that made it a bit harder for me to try and "write and get right."

thanks again for your encouragement Bill !! much appreciated. Cheers, Gary

[r.magnay]

You talk too flash for me Gary, but I get what you mean...and I think you pretty much have achieved it here. I suspect you have a bit more experience and poetic knowledge than what you claim though...

[Gary Harding]

Thanks r.magnay, and I agree my style is a bit boringly academic, plus it also has speling errors occasionally, I am ashamed to say but then .... styles are individual things I guess.

Gee, I look at poetic styles here and LEARN so much. Heather can write a lovely pointed story in so few lines! Bill Williams of course can draw images that are so amazingly vivid because he has been there. David Campbell is a wordsmith par excellence in a class of his own ... etc. etc.. Then the humour captured by other writers here on the forum too.. Maureen, Stephen, Bob, et al.... where do they get those great stories from!? Amazing.

Ancora Imparo... " I am still learning" !

Exchanging poems, in my humble opinion, is about Learning. Mutual assistance. Improving. I guess most think they write well... but the reality is only brought home by our peers, isn't it! Anyway as I have no ego I can happily accept criticism of the most scathing sort, and still smile go for it.

Glad you liked An Anzac Reflection. I take encouragement from that! cheers! Gary

[Vic Jefferies]

Great Poem! You don't have to explain yourself to me...just keep writing great stuff like this.
Only line that jarred a little for me was By firesides suffering hard and long. The word hard just ruins the line for me but that is just my poor opinion.

[Gary Harding]

Thanks Vic, I agree totally with your comment and will try to rework that line! yes the word is too "harsh" and does detract.
I very sincerely appreciate that kind of helpful feedback.!! cheers, Gary

[Neville Briggs]

Who said there are any shortcomings.

I don't understand what might be meant by " bush cadence " , The idea that I think I have learnt is that poetry is the cadence of language. In our case the English language.
My understanding is that just as language is sometimes flowing sometimes halting, sometimes fast and sometimes slow, sometimes " harsh " and sometimes smooth, that poetry can be all these things, and should be. I think the word " hard " should stand, it suits.

The only comment I make, this is not at you Gary, just a general thought for anyone when I read these things. I think it is useful for us to remember that Australian soldiers have been involved in a lot of things over the years since the battle of Lone Pine. There's a big area of history that seems to remain uncovered by bush poets.

[David Campbell]

Sorry if this is a digression from your thought-provoking poem, Gary, but I have to take issue with Neville's comment that: "There's a big area of history that seems to remain uncovered by bush poets."

To take the contents of Award Winning Bush Verse and Stories 2013 first of all...yes, there are poems by Heather, Brenda, and Brian Bell that hark back to WW1, but there's also Graham Fredriksen's The Only War We Had (Beachhead Vietnam), Allan Goode's Your Shout! (also about Vietnam), Ron Stevens' Voices in the Silence (which includes references to Afghanistan and Iraq, and my own My Son, which relates to Afghanistan. Apart from Graham's, those poems are from 2012 competitions.

Tom McIlveen won this year's Bush Lantern Award with The Ghost of Long Tan, based on two of his cousins who served in Vietnam, and my Mothers and Sons, which was in the last issue of the magazine, is another poem connected to Afghanistan.

There are undoubtedly further examples, so I'd argue that bush poets are definitely covering the involvement of our soldiers in conflicts since Lone Pine.

Cheers
David

[Neville Briggs]

Good point David.