You're not here.

[alongtimegone]

As a child my grandfather offered me this proof, but not in rhyme. I thought it was so clever that I began practising it on all of my mates. I even used it on one of my primary school teachers. One of the friendly ones.

You’re Not Here

“I can prove that you’re not here.”
I told my good mate Sam.
“I wouldn’t think so Waz.” he said
“I’m here because I am.”

“You’re not in China are you?
Are you good mate Sam?”
“No I’m not in China Waz.
I’m here because I am.”

“You’re not in England are you?”
I asked my good mate Sam.
“No I’m not in England Waz.
I’m here because I am.”

“You’re not in Russia are you?
Please answer good mate Sam?”
“No I’m not in Russia Waz.
I’m here because I am.”

“If you aren’t in those places,
old mate, I think you’ll see.
You must be somewhere else,
It’s clear – now wouldn’t you agree?”

“And if you’re somewhere else
old son, I really truly fear,
that if you’re somewhere else
my friend - you surely can’t be here!”

[Heather]

Grandfathers can be trickly like that can't they Wazza? Then the kids go home and mum cops all the questions and has to think of clever answers.

Either my grandfather or uncle would pinch my nose and then pretend to have it between his fingers.

Heather

[Bob Pacey]

Worse if he asked you to pull his finger H




Rob

[Gary Harding]

That's very clever Wazza.!.. and easily read too. Short and simple poems like that I reckon can have so much more impact and are retained more than long labored poems .. mostly. Plus their entertainment value is high... like yours. well done. Good fun.

[alongtimegone]

Yes Heather ... experienced that one and used it occasionally myself.

Never fell for that one Bob.

Thanks Gary ... just for fun.