Heather

Precisely Heather! You are (as usual) completely and exquisitely correct!
This is, I believe the nub of so many of the problems we discuss on this forum. We tend to lump the three together and of course we come up with a disjointed solution.
Poetry may or may not be written to be performed or even read aloud. It may not even be intended to entertain, but meant to be appreciated for what it is: a poem, an expression, an idea, a collection of words to be read and enjoyed alone and in silence.
I have no doubt that some poetry can be read aloud in a most entertaining and thought provoking way and have witnessed this done on a number of occasions, but how much better is it when a skilled reciter presents the same work? It is very much like saying, "I will read you a story," rather than, "I will TELL you a story."
While poetry is the subject central to the argument I think all things being equal reading to an audience is completely different to presenting a recitation. A reciter can convince an audience he is part of the story; it is his story and he was there when it happened. A reader usually looks (to me at least) like someone who simply has not endeavoured to learn the poem and may even convey the idea that he doesn't think his audience is worth the effort or the time required to learn the poem...Perhaps like an actor in a play reading his lines on stage rather than performing!
I am not opposed to people reading poetry and as I have already admitted that is how I started. I think it is essential that people who wish to read poetry at poetry events be encouraged. I am one of the conveners of the Gosford Bush Poets and we welcome people who read their own or favourite poetry. Many have been coming to our monthly events for years and still continue to read, however a number have very successfully made the transition to reciting and often remark how satisfying they find their new skill. (Have to admit we welcome free verse too!)
I note that there has been a couple of mentions of Les Barker the famous British poet reading his poetry on stage. I have seen Les perform a couple of times and I came away thinking that his "reading" was actually part of his act and the book a mere prop. Les has been going around for a very long time doing the same poems night after night for years and I doubt he would need to read.
Similarly there is a very famous Australian bush poet (no names) who made forgetting his lines a very funny part of his act.