Haiku Homework

[mummsie]

Their a bit of fun for us time poor poets Neville. I'll change that Maureen, should the apostrophe be used after frozen?

Sue

[Maureen K Clifford]

Well you could read this two ways depending on where the kira falls.

The first two would to me indicate snow - the third version would be hail or sleet - if you use a word other than 'winter' it would be even better - the 'frozen' word already indicates it is a cold season so perhaps you could replace the winter word with eg trees, graveyards, rooftops. In haiku often a season is indicated with a word as you have done here. Cherry Blossom/green shoots/new buds etc are often used to indicate Spring, falling leaves/golden leaves - Autumn, heat haze - Summer etc etc

Try and avoid using words ending with 'ing'


heavens confetti -
frozen crystalline droplets
blanketing winter

or

heavens confetti
frozen - crystalline droplets
blanketing winter

or change it a little

red tiled rooves
peep beneath thick white blankets -
heavens confetti

snow.JPG

I think you might grow to become rather fond of these Sue - they become a bit addictive

[mummsie]

The placement of that hyphen certainly makes a difference Maureen, the second example is much better.

Sue

[Maureen K Clifford]

For the purpose of the homework exercise we are only trying a Haiku styled verse but the Haiku done following the traditional rules are quite difficult to master but the challenge of doing them is a good discipline. I'm delighted that you had a go Sue as did many others.