The Sticky Fart

Stephen Whiteside · Post by **Stephen Whiteside** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 7:12 pm

The Toolangi C.J. Dennis Poetry Festival written poetry competition has a category for adults writing for children. This is, of course, judged by adults, as are all poetry competitions. However, there is also a separate set of results for judging by children. I have been trying to win this award for a few years now without any success.

This year, however, I broke through (no pun intended…) with "The Sticky Fart"!

The Sticky Fart

I did a big fart – not right off the chart, but it stuck to the end of my bum.
I wriggled and jiggled and joggled and squiggled and gave it a poke with my thumb.
It wouldn’t come loose, and I felt like a goose, so I sat very hard on the grass,
And I slided and slid, but I couldn’t get rid, and it stayed there, attached to my bottom.

I stood on each hand. My planning was grand. Perhaps it would flop back inside.
I walked round the yard. It was terribly hard, and didn’t do much for my pride.
Exhausted, I fell, and I gave out a yell, “Look out!”, for I felt it come loose.
It ran down my pants like a scurry of ants, along with a trickle of juice.

I was filled with relief, but alas, to my grief, I felt it beneath me go “Squelch!”
(If I’d been really smart, instead of a fart, I’d have simply pushed out a big belch!)
I’ve been badly misused, and I’m very confused. I don’t know what now I should do.
I am gloomy and glum. It is gone from my bum, but I can’t get the fart off my shoe!

© Stephen Whiteside 24.03.2015

Cropduster · Post by **Cropduster** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 7:56 pm

I note that 'bottom' does not exactly rhyme with grass...struggled to find a word that rhymed, eh?

Very funny, great kids poem, and a deserved winner

Stephen Whiteside · Post by **Stephen Whiteside** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 7:57 pm

Thanks, Alan.

Maureen K Clifford · Post by **Maureen K Clifford** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 8:52 pm

The kids would love this - can almost hear the raucous giggles from here

Post by **Heather** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 9:25 pm

I'm a big kid. I laughed. Well done Stephen.

Heather

Stephen Whiteside · Post by **Stephen Whiteside** » Tue Oct 20, 2015 6:09 am

Thanks, Maureen and Heather. Yes, it was good to get the monkey off my back!

Bob Pacey · Post by **Bob Pacey** » Tue Oct 20, 2015 7:52 am

Do monkeys fart ? I found this poem a bit smelly. Prob why the kids liked it

ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

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