Homework WE 18/1/16 - Reality Bites

[Shelley Hansen]

Great set of prompts this week, Maureen! My mind went off on about fifty tangents - but here is the one I settled on. I have no idea why I'm channelling CJ Dennis, but it just seemed to fit!!

Reality Bites
(c) Shelley Hansen 7/1/16

I 'ave this woven fantasy ter sing upon the stage -
I'd like ter be in op-er-a, uv corse!
Wiv soap on me soprano, I would be the bloomin' rage,
an' all the foke would cheer till they wus 'oarse.

I sees meself duetting with Domingo at the "Met" -
me fame increasing wiv each brand new day.
I'd belt out Madam Butterfly till ev'ry eye wus wet -
they'd cry Bravo! (In Aussie, that's Hooray!)

I've practised in the shower an' I've raised a bonzer din -
that ain't ter say I'm good (but strike! I'm loud!)
An' when I does the vacuuming, the wrong notes just blend in -
I'm shure that Nellie Melba would be proud!

Me neighbour got this brocher frum a travel coot 'e knows.
'E thinks that I should take a holiday
upon some desert island where a single palm tree grows -
unciverlised ... an' very far away!

An' so I've come back down ter earth an' in reality
me 'ead's bin in the clouds, me face is red.
I've come ter the conclooshun that the op'ra's not fer me ...
I'll jist belt out BUSH POITRY instead!!!

[Maureen K Clifford]

Brilliant Shelley - well done and I loved this line

I've practised in the shower an' I've raised a bonzer din -
that ain't ter say I'm good (but strike! I'm loud!)

I am pinching it and putting it on the FB page - too good to hide away here

[mummsie]

Love it Shelley.

[Shelley Hansen]

Thanks Maureen and Sue - and yes, I've seen it on the FB page Maureen - thank you for sharing my website also

Actually I really did want to be an opera singer when I was young ... my Dad had a fine tenor voice but he chose to pursue a normal life rather than sing professionally. My voice was lower-ranged than soprano, and although I sang a bit at an amateur level in my heyday, I never pursued serious voice training.

And yes, I did (and do) sing in the shower! My neighbours go away a lot ...

Cheers
Shelley

[Catherine Lee]

Fantastic Shelley - original and extremely enjoyable!

[Shelley Hansen]

Thanks Catherine! Good to have a bit of fun to start the new year

Cheers
Shelley

[Bob Pacey]

( I have no idea why I'm channelling CJ Dennis, but it just seemed to fit!!



Because you can make a spelling mistake and no one will pick it up ?


Bob

[Shelley Hansen]

Ha! Ha! Touche, Bob!!

Actually it is really difficult to apply the "lingo" in all the right words. It takes lots of proofreading out loud - and I know I still miss some!

CJD wasn't always consistent himself, either - some parts of The Sentimental Bloke have different "misspellings" from others. For example, with his famous line "I dips me lid", he uses "me" for "my" - as he does with "crool forchin's dirty left 'as smote me soul" and so on. But then in other places he uses "my" - "my wife", "my son", "my Doreen".

In Hitched he mixes them in two consecutive lines ...

Doreen an' me! My precious bit o' fluff!
Me own true weddid wife! An' we're alone!

It's the same with "ter" for "to" and "fer" for "for" - his use of these is somewhat erratic. I don't know if there is a hidden pattern - perhaps one of our CJD experts can enlighten us?

Cheers
Shelley

[Bob Pacey]

Remember that an ex is finished and a spert is a drip under pressure.

[David Campbell]

Ah, Shelley, you can guess how much I like this one! A touch of Dennis always lifts the spirits.

Cheers
David