The Waiting Room. Ward 5D..

[Neville Briggs]

I did put this on the old site. I still live with the routine of cancer treatment for my wife, I have to drive 90 kms to the Mater Hospital every fortnight, and recently a friend of mine died of prostate cancer. I get the impression sometimes that someone I know, just about every week, succumbs to cancer. It's frightful.


THE WAITING ROOM. WARD 5D.


White walls, shiny floors ( air-conditioner humming ).
While trolleys pass by with a slight bustling sound
the clock on the wall shows how time is progressing.

There's plenty of banter and loud friendly joking
as people are moved in the wheelchairs around
the white walls, shiny floors ( air conditioner humming ).

A rack on the wall holds some pamphlets, informing
the patients where helpful support can be found.
The clock on the wall shows how time is progressing.

Young women in trousers and shirts, busy working
equipment and tubing and beds that surround
the white walls, shiny floors ( air conditioner humming ).

A turban or beanie can cover the balding
of heads, while the wasting is slippered and gowned.
The clock on the wall shows how time is progressing.

Their faces are grey and their gaze is disquieting
they know where the end of endurance is found.
White walls, shiny floors ( air-conditioner humming ).
The clock on the wall shows how time is progressing.

[Dave Smith]

Have been down this road cobber, we sincerely wish you and you wife well.

Dave Smith.

[Zondrae]

me too Neville,

Now the poetry side.- Is the form you have used, a particular style of poem or did you make it up yourself?
I am always keen to know a little about different forms of poetry. I find using the same line over and over, particularly in this case, really calls attention to the stark truth of the 'waitng' room. There would be little comfort in the stark white walls or the ticking clock reminding us that we have such a short time to say all the things we would like to.

Back to those waiting rooms... we found while Wayne was in and out of hospital 18 months ago (gee that went quickly) that you probably are in no immediate danger unless they send for 'the famly' for a conferance.

[Neville Briggs]

Thanks again Dave for your kind thoughts and wishes.

Yes, you know the routine Zondrae. Things seem to be going well for your husband at the moment. Let's hope.

The poem was an attempt at a villenelle. Villenelles are quite popular in contemporary poetry. They can be lighthearted or sombre with great effect. It's a French form which sort of means country song, so I think it is suitable for bush poetry.
The lines are usually in set metre. I have used anapestic,( I think ) with a clipped foot at the beginning ( which could be an iambic substitution ) and weak endings.

white walls shiny floors air condishoner humming.
the clock on the wall shows how time is progressing

I have to confess that the ing words are supposed to rhyme, but they are not strictly full rhymes. I'll try better next time.

A villanelle has 19 lines, five lots of triplets ending in a quatrain that has a last rhyming couplet.

The rhyming scheme is.

A1
b
A2

a
b
A1

a
b
A2

a
b
A1

a
b
A2

a
b
A1
A2


The capitals are the repeated lines. And note that the repeated lines do have to be exactly the same each time.

Dylan Thomas wrote a very famous villanelle. "Do not go Gentle into that Good Night "
"google " that and you'l see what I mean. It's not as hard as it looks. Maybe

You had to ask Zondrae..


Thanks for the comments on the poem Zondrae, I appreciate your understanding.

[thestoryteller]

Hospital life is a world of its own Nev.

So many varied experiences shared by so many.


Merv.