Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

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Shelley Hansen
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Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Post by Shelley Hansen » Fri Sep 09, 2016 7:26 pm

Well, Maureen, the prompts certainly created a lot of puzzlement for me this time around - which is really great, because the challenge is what it's all about! However there is nothing like a looming deadline to prod the Muse ... so here is my effort. It is a little abstract and out of left field - and probably a bit odd (like me).

VODKA ON THE ROCKS

(c) Shelley Hansen 7/9/16

Man proposes - God disposes ...
best laid plans may come to nought.
Take the time to smell the roses -
time is passing. Life is short.

Set the sails and weigh the anchor -
life's a voyage, not a place.
Do not cherish hatred's canker -
we are still one human race.

Sea is mistress of the sailor -
what is master of the soul?
Prejudice - a ruthless jailer -
takes an unrelenting toll.

Secret bitterness abolished
banishes the fear-filled night.
Keep the porthole spit and polished -
see the vista, clear and bright.

Islands in the stream have crumbled -
seek safe harbour by the docks.
Turn the stones on which you stumbled
into vodka on the rocks!
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

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David Campbell
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Re: Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Post by David Campbell » Sat Sep 10, 2016 10:46 am

Not abstract at all, Shelley, it's a powerful message that's as clear as day..."life's a voyage, not a place". And I particularly like the use of "vodka on the rocks" in the last line!

Cheers
David

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Sat Sep 10, 2016 12:38 pm

WOW - That's might impressive IMO - well done you. I agree with David, a clear message indeed and a positive one as well and the last line beats the hell out of turning lemons into lemonade :lol: although of course the concept is exactly the same :roll:
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

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Shelley Hansen
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Re: Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Post by Shelley Hansen » Sat Sep 10, 2016 1:02 pm

Thank you so much David and Maureen - I really appreciate that positive feedback.

The poem is a slight departure from my usual style. I don't have many "short line" poems - I guess I'm more accustomed to filling out the statements into full-blown sentences. It was refreshing to try a different approach.

I've noticed with my poetry that I don't often use a strong syllable stress to start the line, as I have with this poem. Playing around with masculine and feminine endings with short lines was also an experiment - I normally tend to use the feminine endings more with internal rhyme which usually has longer lines.

Despite respecting traditional structure and rhyme, I'm always looking for innovations which push me out of my comfort zone!

Cheers
Shelley
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

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Catherine Lee
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Re: Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Post by Catherine Lee » Mon Sep 12, 2016 6:48 pm

Love this poem Shelley - it's punchy, positive and clever!

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Shelley Hansen
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Re: Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Post by Shelley Hansen » Mon Sep 12, 2016 9:43 pm

Thank you so much Catherine - and lovely to have you back after your holiday! Hope you had a wonderful time :D

Cheers
Shelley
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

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Catherine Lee
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Re: Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Post by Catherine Lee » Tue Sep 13, 2016 5:37 pm

Thank you Shelley - yes, we did have a lovely time. Now I'm off again next week to Phuket, and then in October to New Zealand to see my parents again... Maybe after that I might actually start feeling settled enough to write some more poetry with any luck!

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Shelley Hansen
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Re: Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Post by Shelley Hansen » Tue Sep 13, 2016 5:50 pm

You Globetrotter, you!! :D

Congratulations on your third place in the Bronze Spur - great result!

Cheers
Shelley
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

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