Metric Madness

[David Campbell]

Metric Madness

© David Campbell, 28/12/16

This metre is a funny thing
(de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum).
If done just right then stanzas sing
(de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum).
But it can often drive me crazy
(de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de)
when poets seem to get quite lazy
(de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de),
with feminine line-endings tossed
(de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum)
quite randomly, for what is lost
(de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum)
is confidence there’s recognition
(de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de)
that poetry for competition
(de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de)
requires some thought and lots of care
(de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum)
or you’ll leave judges in despair
(de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum),
and wondering why more precision
(de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de)
was not employed, with some revision
(de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de).

And the same is true, it must be said
(dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum)
of the folk who make me see quite red
(dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum)
by mixing up their metric feet
(de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum),
with some, like this, iambic beat
(de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum),
whereas some will be trochaic style
(dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum),
and a bit of fun for quite a while
(dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum),
but perhaps, in good time, it might be
(de-de-dum-de-de-dum-de-de-dum)
anapestic that tries to break free
(de-de-dum-de-de-dum-de-de-dum),
and then throw in a feminine ending
(de-de-dum-de-de-dum-de-de-dum-de),
and it’s clear that the message you’re sending
(de-de-dum-de-de-dum-de-de-dum-de)
is that metre is far from exciting
(de-de-dum-de-de-dum-de-de-dum-de).
and so anything goes when you’re writing
(de-de-dum-de-de-dum-de-de-dum-de)!

[Shelley Hansen]

Not only very clever, David - but a fabulous object lesson to anyone striving to standardise their metric beat - especially for competition!

Excellent!

Cheers
Shelley

[thestoryteller]

I often felt that the inclusion of this poem may have cost me a golden gumleaf David. Made the finals but missed out on the win.

WHAT’S WRONG WITH RHYME AND METER MATE?

“What! You won’t serve me another beer. You say I’m flamin’ full.
Hell … I’m full alright. I’m full of these here Bards. They try to pull …
pull the wool over your eyes. What’s wrong with how things were old mate?
What is wrong with how we wrote, eh? That’s something to contemplate.

“I wrote hundreds mate and Pato wrote his share as well. That’s fact!
We had tales to tell and with good meter and true rhyme intact.
True we used poetic licence, though with rhyme and meter there;
But I tell you mate this lot today … they just don’t flamin’ care.

“Got the tag of bush verse now! Still, don’t get me wrong. There are a few,
not a lot, but a few who have kept things ridgy didge. True blue.
Got themselves a fancy name now mate. Performance verse they say.
But the art of rhyme and meter son; they’ve given that away.

“’We still call it rhyming verse’ they say, ‘without that meter stuff
and the crowds they simply love it mate. They just can’t get enough.
True it’s different from written verse. A new mutated form
and I guess we have diverted from what YOU knew as the norm.’

“What a lot of tripe that is. A new mutated form. I know,
for a fact, they haven’t got the handle mate, which is a blow
to the legacy my old mate Pato and I left to them.
It’s a fallacy and something that I must say I condemn.

“Rhyming verse is rhyming verse and whether you are writing it,
or you’re spruiking it, I don’t care how you do your little bit,
you need meter that is regular and true blue rhyme old son.
It has been tradition to us bards of rhyme since time begun.

“They have chosen judges from their ranks to give rewards to folk
for their doggerel performances and cobber it’s a joke!
What has happened to tradition mate? You’ve guessed it - out the door -
and they just don’t seem to care at all. It’s a fact, I know for sure.

“Mate it’s creeping into written verse and I had thought perhaps,
that we had at least preserved that form, but now it seems old chaps
they’re rewarding doggerel writers in the written comp’s as well.
So of course I’m full old mate. I’ve had it up to here, pray tell!

“So I’ve had my fill eh? Fair enough! I’ll give you that my lad,
c’ause I reckon what they’re doing mate is pretty flamin’ sad.
I suppose I shouldn’t be here, but you see son this old bard
likes to sneak back for a coldie as old habits do die hard.

“Well, I’m off to join old Pato and to put him in the know
there’s a few good bards still giving rhyme and meter here a go.
What! You’d like to hear a poem of mine before I go this time.
Cop this one, about old Sweeney sport. In meter and in rhyme.

When I first started writing bush verse I had little understanding of the necessary construction techniques required, but with help from a few skilled poets I began to gain a better knowledge of meter and rhyme etc. Sadly today, this discipline is being superceded, as many give up trying and feel they can perform their poetry and get audience applause and some judges of written works have begun rewarding writers of inferior works. It came to my mind how old Henry would feel and I figured after downing a few coldies he would be more than willing to express his feelings.

From the Book Keeping the Culture.

[David Campbell]

I'm sure he'd be only too happy to share his feelings. Thanks, Merv.

Cheers
David