Ruination, Desperation, Inspiration, Expiration.

[Maureen K Clifford]

Ruination, Desperation, Inspiration, Expiration.






He was only fourteen, still just really a kid,
his mother had bigger fish to fry.
She was lapping at the doors of a wealthy bloke
and concern for her son was not high.

He was covered in tats, wrote graffiti on walls
which was irritating in the extreme.
Caught up in the surf culture, child of the streets,
he was wayward and lost but not mean.

They found him in an alley with rain in his hair
and a needle stuck hard in his vein.
With no one to mourn him and no one who cared
and no one who had shared his pain.

The sirens were ringing, the police stood around
cold and bored, for they’d seen it before.
Just one more dumb kid who could not pass the test
and gave life as his payment to score.

The found an address in a notebook he had,
with a number just listed as Mum;
and another one listed as ‘ Mad Dog’ dash Dad,
so they rang and they asked them to come.

His funeral was Tuesday a day fine and clear,
there were few there to mourn the lad's death.
His mates on the street would have not got a call.
None were there when he drew his last breath.

He was known on the streets by his tag name - Josia
in the papers his name was Shaun Thomas.
His legacy defaced the walls of the town.
His street art it’s been said showed great promise.

Maureen Clifford © 05/11

[Neville Briggs]

Seen plenty of them Maureen.

Just a suggestion..I think that the first stanza and line 3 of the last stanza can be taken out , the rest of the poem says it all, and by allowing the reader to draw the conclusions themselves, I think would make the poem stronger in impact.

[Maureen K Clifford]

Think you are right about the first stanza Neville and thinking of the other suggestion.

[mummsie]

Sad fact of this Maureen is as we read this, this very thing is happening on our streets somewhere. I can never imagine not knowing or caring where one of my children are. Who's looking after the kids?
Sue

[Maureen K Clifford]

Took your advice Neville and altered the 2nd last line as well - to the betterment I think. Thanks for your help

Cheers

Maureen

[Neville Briggs]

Looks good Maureen. As long as you are satisfied with it, that's what counts.
It's a good poem, using the graphic details is a harrowing experience for some listeners I suppose but it makes a powerful statement like that.

I had to get the parents of a thirteen year old girl to identify her body after a drug overdose. You wouldn't want to do that job.

[Maureen K Clifford]

No I wouldn't Neville - but sadly there are always hard yards that people have to do. Bloody tragic though isn't it??